It’s 3:37 a.m., and I find myself cradling my five-year-old in the dim light of our living room. He’s shirtless and jittery, his slender shoulder blades quivering against my chest as he signs for “more” to the off-key lullaby I sing. My rendition of Paul Simon’s “Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes” might not win any awards, but it brings a flicker of a smile to his face—a small victory, helping me resist the urge to call our pediatrician’s emergency line.
His bare feet tap my shins rhythmically, a gesture I wish was sweet instead of a sign of his tremors. “Please, God, don’t let this be the flu,” I plead silently as he coughs, a sound reminiscent of an old man. Just last week, a 33-year-old man in our community succumbed to the flu. If it could take down an adult, what chance does my vulnerable son, who has cerebral palsy and is prone to putting everything in his mouth, have against it?
I pause my song. He nestles against me, sucking on the edge of his blanket, just as my husband enters with the Motrin. We gently sit him up, like adjusting a chair, and thankfully, he takes the medicine and some water. We then migrate to our bedroom; the thought of leaving him in his own bed, even with the baby monitor, is unbearable.
No vomiting or diarrhea has occurred—two symptoms I’ve read are common in children with the flu. I admit I’ve turned to Google after noticing his unusual shakiness and heightened startle reflex while dressing him for bed. The news of the man’s passing lingers in my mind, and I can’t help but wonder about his young son.
As I lie there with my son’s feverish body close to mine, I recall the flood of Facebook comments from other parents:
- “Get him to the doctor now for Tamiflu! It’s most effective in the FIRST 24 HRS!”
- “Don’t give Tamiflu! It made my daughter vomit and got her dehydrated!”
- “My son had type-A; we were sent home with antibiotics. Get a nebulizer!”
- “All of our kids got flu shots and still tested positive!”
- “Don’t let this escalate; you’re just waiting for pneumonia to set in.”
- “Don’t go to the doctor! They’ll just send you home with symptom relief advice.”
- “All the clinics nearby are out of flu tests!”
- “If he struggles to breathe, rush him to urgent care!”
This overwhelming mix of advice has left me paralyzed with indecision. Now, at 4:40 a.m. and far from the pediatrician’s hours, I feel lost.
Yet, I’ve faced these situations before. We’ve dealt with ambulances, intubations, and tests of all kinds. It has been three years since his last seizure, but I still hold my breath—and blink little—at the sign of a fever. This has become my baseline of worry.
Reflecting on the chaos around me, I realize that other parents are now feeling the same unease. The urgent Facebook posts, complete with exclamation points, the hand sanitizers in pockets, and wet wipes at the ready—all of these signals show that the world is experiencing the low-grade panic that accompanies the sight of a potentially sick child.
It is a heart-wrenching ordeal to watch your child endure something you can only alleviate but not cure. The waiting and guessing are agonizing. I’ve been here before, but tonight, as I check the clock again and test his temperature with a gentle kiss on his forehead, I recognize that I’m not alone. I’m just one of many anxious parents hoping to see their child’s eyes clear again.
For those navigating similar struggles, you can explore further insights into the journey of home insemination at Make A Mom and discover valuable information about pregnancy and artificial insemination from WebMD.
Summary:
In the midst of a challenging flu season, a mother recounts a sleepless night caring for her feverish son, reflecting on the overwhelming anxiety that other parents also face when their children seem unwell. The feelings of panic, the seeking of advice, and the shared experiences create a sense of solidarity among parents navigating the uncertainty of illness in children.
Keyphrase: flu season anxiety
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]