As I walked into the locker room after a refreshing swim at my local gym, I mentally prepared myself for what lay ahead. After years of being a member, I knew I was about to encounter a lot of nudity, especially since women over forty seem to have no qualms about letting it all hang out. But nothing could have prepared me for what I saw that day.
There, in all her glory, was a completely naked woman, leg propped up on a bench, applying lotion to her butt crack. Yes, you read that right—her butt crack. Look, I’m all for a solid skincare routine, but let’s keep it private, shall we? As luck would have it, my locker was right next to hers. I tried to avert my eyes but was forced to witness her nonchalantly entering her locker code with the same hand that was just… ugh, you get the idea. Locker number 53 is now permanently off-limits.
Gym-goers, it’s time to stop being gross in our shared spaces! I can’t bear another moment of dealing with your germs and rudeness. Remember, we’re all sweating it out together, and a little consideration goes a long way—especially when it comes to wiping down equipment after use.
Seriously, how hard is it to clean up after yourself? You just spent half an hour sweating buckets on that treadmill. Your hands are dripping, and you’ve probably wiped your forehead with them too. Don’t leave your sweat for the next person, okay? I’m happy to share the equipment, but I draw the line at taking home your germs.
And to you, Chad, who thinks the treadmill is exclusively yours because you’re training for a marathon—newsflash! I spent ages wrangling my kid into his snowsuit to get here. I need you to step aside because my time is precious. Also, just because you’re attached to bike #7 doesn’t mean it’s your personal property. I paid for my membership too, so let’s share, alright?
Now let’s talk about the locker room. Walking around barefoot is a no-go, people! Feet are already pretty gross, and after a workout? Double ew. Grab a cheap pair of flip-flops and spare us all that horror.
And please, don’t engage me in conversation while I’m trying to relax in the sauna. I’m trying to enjoy some peace, not make small talk while wrapped in a towel. And when I’m on the treadmill, I’m not interested in discussing the latest gossip. I came here to exercise, not socialize.
Oh, and to the guy who just lifted an impressive amount of weight—nice job, but we all saw it. Your dramatic weight drop and grunting are not winning you any fans.
Let’s not forget the absurdity of blow-drying your pubic hair in public. I can’t believe I need to say this, but please, just don’t. It’s a locker room, not a salon.
Lastly, older patrons, while I admire your vintage bathing cap and skirted swimsuit, kindly take your water aerobics routine to the appropriate area. Yes, I respect my elders, but I also value my workout space.
Gym etiquette is simple. Wipe down machines, wear flip-flops, and respect others’ space. Finding time to work out is already challenging without dealing with people who think it’s acceptable to blast their music or hog equipment. And, for goodness’ sake, leave the butt crack lotion at home!
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In summary, let’s keep our gym experiences pleasant for everyone involved. A little mindfulness goes a long way in creating a welcoming environment.
Keyphrase: gym etiquette
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