The other day, as I was picking my kids up from school, I noticed the principal stationed at the entrance, stopping every parent on their way out. “Please read and sign,” she said, handing out freshly printed letters. I quickly nodded, juggling toddlers along with their backpacks and lunch boxes, but I caught a glimpse of the headline: Car Line Guidelines.
Oh great, here we go again.
Honestly, it astounds me that such memos are even necessary. The concept of a car line isn’t exactly rocket science, and it’s baffling that adults need a detailed outline on how to refrain from being rude. Yet, here we are.
Once home, I unloaded the kids and read through the memo. “Please do not text and drive in the parking lot. Do not exit your vehicle while using the car line. If your children need a moment to collect themselves, please find a parking space and escort them into the building.”
Please this. Please that. Please, please, please.
Our principal is a gem, truly, but her patience is being tested. This is her third memo this year, and yet she remains diplomatic. I admire her approach, but it’s high time we ditch the diplomacy. Adults should not have to be reminded to act like, well, adults in the car line.
These rules are straightforward—not complicated at all—yet I’m fed up with the inconsiderate individuals making this experience unbearable for everyone else. So, it’s time to say what everyone else is thinking. And since I’m done with the nonsense, I’m taking the mic.
For the umpteenth time, stop being a thoughtless jerk in school car lines. I don’t care if you skipped your morning coffee; the world isn’t asking too much from you. Tune in, follow some basic rules, and at least pretend to have it together between 7:00 and 8:00 AM. Just one hour, that’s all we’re asking for. After that, you can return to your chaotic life, chatting on the phone, holding up lines everywhere, and acting like you’re the center of the universe.
Let’s face it; if anyone struggles with this process, I can’t fathom why. My toddler could break it down for you:
- Drive up
- Drop off
- Drive away
That’s it.
If you need to check whether your child’s lunchbox still has yesterday’s banana in it, pull into a parking spot. If you can’t recall whether you need to sign something in your child’s backpack, find a parking space. If your kids are having a meltdown in the backseat, please, for the love of all that is good, park your car.
Don’t, I repeat, DO NOT ruin this for the rest of us.
Parenting is tough, I get it. We all have days when the car line just doesn’t work. I’ve been there too; the idea of parking, unloading everything, and walking the kids in can feel overwhelming. But let’s be honest. If parking your car and taking your kids inside is the worst thing that happens to you today, the world isn’t coming to an end. However, if you choose to inconvenience everyone else because you couldn’t get your act together, well, we all know what that makes you:
A jerk.
Yes, I said it. These rules aren’t mind-bending, and you’ve seen them before. If, after all this, you still can’t be considerate, then you’re just being selfish. If you’re texting while driving, congratulations, you’re the reigning queen of the Selfish Jerks. And it’s time to stop that nonsense.
Spoiler alert: Nobody appreciates a selfish jerk. If you can’t follow simple, easy instructions designed to make life smoother for everyone, you might want to look into alternative transportation methods for your little ones.
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In summary, let’s all just act like decent human beings during car line drop-offs. It’s not too much to ask.
Keyphrase: car line etiquette
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