Real Friends Don’t Disappear When Times Get Tough

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Let me begin by saying I’m sorry, but not for who I am or my actions — I’m apologizing for my silence. For the times I closed off and withdrew. It has taken me a while to find the courage to express these feelings, largely because I fear your reaction — whether you’ll respond or choose to remain silent. But there’s something I need to say: I miss you, even though you vanished when the going got tough.

I have some thoughts I hope you’ll consider. Wherever you are, I hope you understand. I realize I wasn’t always the easiest friend to have around. I could be moody, needy, and sometimes a real buzzkill. My presence could darken the atmosphere. I own that.

My struggles stem from a complex mental illness called bipolar II. Some days, I’m full of life, happy and spontaneous; other days, I find myself in a dark pit of despair, unable to get out of bed. I can be impulsive and overwhelmed, rendering me incapable of fulfilling plans.

I know this must have been frustrating for you. To watch me transform from a vibrant person into a shadow of myself must have been difficult. But in those challenging moments, I needed you the most. I truly did. Instead, you stepped back when I was at my lowest, as if my mental health was too much for you to handle.

You never explicitly said you couldn’t be friends because I was “crazy” or “dramatic,” but your absence spoke volumes. You started making excuses, canceling plans, and eventually, the silence became deafening. My calls went unanswered, and my texts were read but not replied to. That silence? It hurt deeply.

I share this not to make you feel guilty, but to help you grasp the reality of living with a mental illness — a daunting and vulnerable experience. With stigma and shame surrounding these struggles, many of us fear losing our friends and family, and I’m one of those people.

They say there are three categories of friends — those who come for a reason, those for a season, and those who remain for a lifetime. I suppose we were in the first category; our friendship had its moment and now it’s passed. But that doesn’t lessen the pain. I miss you daily.

While our friendship may not have endured, remember that many others will cross your path who may also be battling mental health issues. With nearly 43% of the American population facing mental illness, they will need your support, your understanding, and your compassion.

Be there for them. Listen to them. Nothing is perfect, and neither is friendship. But those who struggle want to be good friends; they are fighting their battles and simply need a bit of help. You don’t have to carry their burdens, but you can be a beacon of hope. That will mean the world to someone like me.

I believe you can be that friend, not just for me but for the next person who needs a helping hand. For more insights on navigating these challenges, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and consider exploring this at-home insemination kit for additional support.

In closing, I hope you reflect on the importance of standing by those who need you.

Summary

This piece explores the importance of friendship during tough times, particularly when mental health issues are involved. It emphasizes the need for support and understanding, encouraging friends to remain present rather than ghosting during difficult periods. It also highlights the prevalence of mental health struggles and calls for compassion and awareness in friendships.

Keyphrase: “supporting friends with mental illness”

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