I Struggled as a Mom Today — And It Was Refreshing

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Let’s be honest, folks: today was not my shining moment as a mother. I’m pregnant, fatigued, and riding the hormonal rollercoaster. Meanwhile, my 3-year-old son is being particularly demanding and stubborn. Honestly, I could really use a day off — a mental health day, if you will.

But let’s face it: in the world of motherhood, sick days are a fantasy. When our partners catch even the mildest of colds, they suddenly need our full attention, turning into yet another child we care for. I find myself preparing tea and soup for him while also whipping up a peanut butter sandwich and chocolate milk for my little one. Because, naturally, their cravings can never align.

On the other hand, if moms get sick, it’s business as usual. We could be battling a fever or feeling utterly drained, yet the demands keep piling up: “Mom, I need this!” or “Where are my keys?! (again!).” And of course, “I don’t want to wear those pants!” (cue the epic meltdown). Life doesn’t pause for us.

Well, today I decided enough was enough. I’m tired, I have a headache, and I’m overwhelmed with the task of nurturing a tiny human while wrangling a slightly larger one. To top it off, my partner just handed me a list of business trips he’ll be taking. Great.

So today, I chose to prioritize myself. I snuggled up on the couch, indulging in reruns of Gilmore Girls while dozing off, rather than tackling the mountain of dirty dishes in the sink. I let the tears flow when a friend called just to chat because I needed that release. I put my son in front of the TV so I could enjoy a long, uninterrupted shower.

I also decided to let him play on the iPad so I could write this and hopefully work through my feelings. He was thrilled to have chocolate milk all afternoon, and I didn’t have the energy to argue. Three fruit snacks for lunch? Sure, why not! She thought it was the best day ever; I felt like a failure. Perspective is a curious thing.

At the end of it all, will my child suffer from an excess of sugar? Probably not. Will she be traumatized by a few hours of screen time? I doubt it. Will she grow up spoiled because I let her have her way today? I hope not! But will she benefit from having an emotionally stable mom? Absolutely.

As mothers, we often struggle to carve out time for ourselves. Someone once asked me how I nurture myself on a daily basis, and I was stumped. Then it hit me: if we give everything to our kids, partners, and families, we risk losing ourselves. That doesn’t serve anyone. I find myself feeling resentful and depleted, which is not the example I want to set for my son. I want to show him the importance of being strong, independent, and caring. But to do that, I must first model it.

It feels strange to prioritize self-care, yet I notice a significant difference when I do. I feel rejuvenated, energetic, and confident, which translates to being a better mom, partner, and friend. Today, I took a step back. Moving forward, I want to be more proactive about my mental health. Just like you go for check-ups to catch physical ailments early, we should also check in on our mental well-being. It might feel selfish, but it’s essential.

This year, I’m challenging myself and all the moms out there to start nurturing yourselves. Begin with weekly self-care and work up to daily. I’m sharing this commitment publicly to hold myself accountable, and I hope it inspires others, too.

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In summary, embracing self-care as a mom might feel odd, but it’s vital for our well-being and our families. By taking time for ourselves, we can show up as our best selves for our kids.

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