This afternoon, as I nursed my son Sam in the rocking chair before his nap, I found myself scrolling through social media and stumbled upon a heated debate: to sleep train or not to sleep train? Parents were passionately arguing over the merits of sleep training, accusing each other of neglecting the principles of “gentle parenting.” Some even claimed that research shows sleep training could harm a child’s development.
Well, here’s the truth: I sleep-trained my baby, and our family is thriving because of it. I’m frustrated by the backlash against sleep training, which makes parents like me feel as though we should hide our choices in shame.
What is Sleep Training?
Let’s clarify what sleep training really means. At its core, it involves teaching your child to fall asleep independently and feel secure while doing so. Our pediatrician explained that it’s normal for everyone, including babies, to wake up during the night. Unlike adults, who can roll over and go back to sleep, babies need guidance to develop that skill. Although the “cry-it-out” method is often associated with sleep training, there are many approaches available: verbal reassurance, pick-up-put-down (PUPD), and establishing a consistent bedtime routine, to name a few.
Sleep training does not equate to leaving your child to cry alone for extended periods. If that’s your method (and yes, I’m judging a bit), then shame on you.
My Hesitation and Journey
I was once hesitant about sleep training. I was trapped in the belief that responding to my baby’s every nighttime cry was the only way to show love, despite our doctor confirming that Sam was not waking out of hunger. My nighttime routine bordered on the absurd, as I firmly believed that dim lighting and soft voices would magically solve our sleep issues.
My husband’s patience during this chaotic period was remarkable. I imposed all kinds of arbitrary rules on him, from adjusting the height of his bedside lamp to how he held our son at bedtime. But the truth was, the exhaustion I felt from this endless cycle was taking a toll on my well-being.
We tried everything—extra feedings, warm baths, soothing massages, co-sleeping, and even using various sleep aids like dock-a-tots. Yet, even nestled between two loving parents, Sam woke every hour or two, crying.
So before anyone judges me for not trying hard enough or for being unloving, let me assure you: I exhausted every option. The method that ultimately worked for us combined PUPD, verbal reassurance, and graduated extinction. I was determined not to let Sam cry for long stretches, and while the gentler methods may take more time, they are effective.
Establishing a New Routine
A crucial change was breaking the habit of nursing (or bottle feeding) Sam to sleep. Instead, we established a routine that included a bath, pajamas, and a bedtime story. If Sam fell asleep during feeding, I would gently wake him before reading. It may sound unconventional, but it was just enough to work. The key was laying him down in the crib while he was still awake so that he learned bedtime meant it was time to sleep.
Before long, our sleep training was a success. Sam learned to fall asleep independently and stay asleep longer. Yes, there are nights when he wakes up—especially after vacations or other disruptions—but now those nights usually involve only a few soft whimpers before he settles back down. If he cries out in true panic or hunger, I’m right there to comfort him.
The Peaceful Outcome
What surprised me most about our sleep training experience was how quickly our nights became peaceful. Sam, who once experienced distress every night, now often falls asleep with ease. I can even sense a newfound calm in him—an ease that I share.
With so much parenting advice swirling around, from recommendations on breastfeeding duration to the pros and cons of being a stay-at-home parent, it’s easy to forget to trust our instincts. Gather information, sure, but let’s not forget the bond we share with our children.
I have no regrets about sleep training, and I hope that you can embrace your own choices too. If we can respect each other’s parenting decisions, we all benefit.
Further Reading
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Summary
This article discusses the author’s experience with sleep training her baby, emphasizing that it can be a positive approach to helping children learn to sleep independently. The author reflects on the judgment faced by parents who choose to sleep train, sharing her successful methods and encouraging others to trust their instincts in parenting. Ultimately, she expresses that she has no regrets about sleep training and advocates for understanding and respect among parents.
Keyphrase: Sleep training my baby
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