As an enthusiastic jogger, I relish the moments when I can escape into my own thoughts. During my runs, I lose myself in daydreams where I conquer challenges and envision solutions to every problem. This is a big part of why I feel so invigorated after finishing a run, and why I keep coming back for more. Let’s face it: everyone enjoys a good fantasy, even if they won’t admit it.
Daydreaming serves as a delightful escape; whether you’re picturing yourself as the next pop sensation, aspiring for that coveted promotion at work, or contemplating who you might meet at your next reunion, it’s a perfectly normal and healthy behavior. It can also be quite enjoyable!
Another common aspect of our inner lives—albeit one we often keep to ourselves—is how we incorporate fantasies into our intimate relationships. This doesn’t just include desires we have regarding our partners (though that certainly adds excitement); it also involves fantasizing about being intimate with others outside of our relationships.
None of us relish the thought of our significant other envisioning someone else in a romantic light, but there’s a major distinction between fantasizing and acting on those thoughts. For instance, I might dream of indulging in a double cheeseburger followed by a massage, topped off with a trip to my favorite shoe store. I may think about it often, but I don’t necessarily act on it. People possess the self-control to entertain fleeting thoughts without succumbing to impulsive actions, understanding that such momentary pleasures can lead to consequences. However, it is perfectly okay to revel in those thoughts, as they may even add some spice to your relationship.
Let’s say you’ve been married for a while, or even just a short time, and you cross paths with a charming guy at Home Depot who helps you out. Your imagination might wander to what would unfold if you invited him over to “fix” your plumbing. This could even lead to a playful role-play scenario with your partner—talk about a win-win!
Perhaps you love giving your partner oral pleasure but occasionally find yourself imagining that you’re seducing a celebrity like Ryan Gosling instead. Then, in a twist, he falls head over heels for you because of your exceptional skills. Just a hypothetical situation, of course!
While these thoughts can sometimes make us feel guilty—similar to waking up from a sultry dream about someone else—it’s important to remember that such fantasies are a natural part of being human. Some might argue that they equate to infidelity, viewing them as a breach of trust, but the reality is that our attractions are vast and varied. It’s simply part of our nature to fantasize.
Sex therapists, as noted in an article from The Spruce, suggest that fantasizing about others can indicate a healthy, happy relationship and can even help maintain a vibrant sex life. Dr. Joyce Brothers also points out that many happily married individuals, who have no intention of betraying their partners, often have sexual fantasies about others.
So, go ahead and imagine that dashing stranger at the gas station is going to swing by later to deliver a little extra something—maybe even paired with your favorite dessert. This could inspire you to whip up your partner’s beloved dish and don that alluring outfit you haven’t worn in years.
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In summary, fantasizing about others is not only common but can contribute positively to your relationship. It’s essential to embrace these thoughts as part of your human experience, allowing them to enhance your connection with your partner.
Keyphrase: Fantasizing about others in relationships
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