As a mother of six years, I’ve noticed a troubling trend among parenting circles that makes me not only uncomfortable but also frustrated. Many parents take pride in their self-proclaimed progressive views, believing they are promoting acceptance and open-mindedness. Unfortunately, they’re mistaken.
The notion of colorblindness—ignoring race in the name of equality—actually perpetuates racism rather than dismantling it.
I remember vividly an encounter from two years ago while waiting for my daughter’s preschool class to end. As the kids burst out of the building, one little boy exclaimed, “Mom! There are brown kids in my class! Three brown kids!” His mother’s reaction was swift and severe, as she shushed him, scanning the area to see if anyone overheard. The boy looked bewildered, unsure of why his excitement was met with such disapproval.
Later that year, after attending a Christmas Eve service, my family and I went to a nearly empty restaurant. A young girl, around five years old, quietly approached our table, her deep brown skin catching my attention. “Hi,” she said, looking at my two-year-old and the newborn baby in my arms.
“Hi,” I replied, sensing her curiosity. “Are those your kids?” she asked, her eyes wide with intrigue.
“Yes,” I answered, noticing her parents’ shocked expressions as they realized their daughter was engaging with us. I took it upon myself to provide clarity. “My kids are adopted. Do you know what adopted means?” I asked.
The girl listened intently as I explained that they came from another mother who couldn’t care for them and that we now take care of them. Her thoughtful question—“Do they see their other mommies?”—was insightful.
Parents need to understand that avoiding or shushing their children’s questions about race contributes to a distorted understanding of the world. Children are perceptive and can sense when their parents are glossing over important truths. This evasion breeds distrust and uncertainty, which are detrimental to fostering healthy, open relationships.
When you preach colorblindness instead of confronting the realities of race, you’re not only dismissing a crucial part of your child’s world, but you’re also undermining their right to learn about and celebrate differences. The next time your child points out a family that looks different or asks a tough question about race, take a moment to breathe, sit down, and share the truth.
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In summary, it’s crucial for parents to openly engage with their children about race rather than shunning their curiosity. Ignoring these conversations not only hinders their understanding but also breeds a culture of misunderstanding and distrust. Embrace these moments; they are opportunities for growth and learning.
Keyphrase: Understanding Race
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