We’re complete strangers, and I’m simply going about my day in public, lost in my own thoughts. Yet you decided it was your place to approach me and insist, “Smile! You’re too gorgeous not to.”
I suspect you believed this was a compliment, calling me beautiful. But my immediate reaction of pulling away instead of beaming back must have felt jarring to you. The truth is, I was just trying to navigate through my day.
You know nothing about me. You’re unaware that being approached by random people sends waves of anxiety through me, making an already challenging day even harder. And honestly, you have no right to know my story. We aren’t friends, acquaintances, or anything beyond two individuals in the same store at the same time.
Women stepping out into the world do not grant you permission to impose your expectations on them or dictate how they should behave to suit your preferences. That’s absurd. You wouldn’t dare do that to another man; you’d let him live as he chooses. Yet, here I am, deemed too beautiful not to smile, with you deciding to intervene.
You are not the first man to direct me to smile, and I can assure you, you won’t be the last. The audacity it takes to say such things is both maddening and frightening, yet it has become all too common.
Here’s something that might surprise you about being female: it often feels like an open invitation. An invitation for unsolicited opinions, demands for my time, unwanted stares, and even following me to my car. It includes repeatedly asking for my number despite my clear rejection, and then being labeled a “stuck-up” when I’m uninterested. How dare I not be flattered by your attention, right?
Here’s another truth about being a woman: it can be dangerous. The same man who tells you to smile could also be the one who tries to forcefully take you away later. He could become aggressive if you reject him. You never truly know, which is why women learn to tread carefully.
When I’m in public, I’m constantly looking over my shoulder. I’m hyper-aware of my surroundings and the men nearby, evaluating their interest levels. Have I seen that guy too many times in the store? My mind races, assessing risks and planning for worst-case scenarios.
That’s the reality of being a woman.
And here’s one more crucial point: my demeanor in public is not your business. I am not obligated to smile, nor am I indebted to you in any way. Please take a moment to internalize that. If I’m out grocery shopping or browsing the library, simply sharing the same space doesn’t give you the right to dictate my behavior. I could be facing personal struggles, or I might just not feel like smiling at that moment. It doesn’t matter. Mind your own business and let me do the same.
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Summary
Women often face unsolicited comments and demands in public spaces, including the infamous “smile” command. This behavior underscores a larger issue of societal expectations and safety concerns. Women must navigate a world where their autonomy is frequently challenged, and it’s essential to recognize that public demeanor is a personal choice, not an obligation.
Keyphrase: unsolicited comments to women
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