Chill Out: Your Middle Schooler Doesn’t Need a Smartphone—Here’s Why

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My eldest child received his first cell phone at 13, back when social media was less about constant sharing and more about basic communication. It was a simple flip phone, and I only got it for him after a frantic afternoon when he found himself stranded on a golf course during a lightning storm. That modest device served its purpose without complications, as it was primarily used to text his parents. I never worried about him having it because, well, it was just a phone.

Fast forward to today, and smartphones have transformed into mini-computers packed with apps, reshaping how kids interact with the world. The lyrics from a recent Apple commercial capture this shift perfectly, emphasizing how these devices have become more like companions than tools.

When my second child turned 15 and began driving, I eventually gave in and got him an iPhone. By then, flip phones had all but vanished, and the convenience of managing his new independence with safe driving and educational apps made it a sensible choice. I felt confident that by this age, he had developed enough maturity regarding social media to avoid serious pitfalls like cyberbullying or excessive sharing.

Now, my youngest son is 14 and has been pleading for a smartphone for the last three years. He insists he needs one for countless reasons he struggles to articulate. This is precisely why he won’t be getting one just yet. Despite his claims of being the only eighth grader without a phone (and my fifth grader lamenting the same), I’ve firmly said “no” more times than I can count. He’s allowed to use my phone at home, giving me the chance to monitor his social media activity, but still, he begs for more privacy.

The question remains: even if he feels mature enough, should kids be glued to their phones at such a young age? I don’t think so, and it seems I’m not alone in this belief. Recently, two investors expressed concerns about youth smartphone addiction in a letter to Apple, highlighting it as a public health crisis. They urged the company to create tools that help parents manage their children’s phone use and to investigate the effects of overuse on mental health. This letter is worth a read—if you’re staring at your phone right now, it’s a good time to click on it for some eye-opening statistics.

So while my 14-year-old continues to ask for a phone, my answer remains “no.” He may grumble and think I’m making his life miserable, but this means he’ll be engaged in traditional 14-year-old activities like playing outside, reading, or even fishing (imagine that!). In the long run, he’ll discover happiness from within, rather than relying on validation from likes or notifications. Remember when kids could actually entertain themselves? Let’s bring that back!

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Summary

It’s important to consider the impact of smartphones on children’s lives. While some parents may feel pressured to provide their middle schoolers with devices, it’s worth reflecting on their maturity level and the potential consequences of early smartphone use. Engaging kids in more traditional activities can foster their independence and creativity.

Keyphrase: Kids and Smartphones
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