It’s taken me a lot of introspection and therapy to come to terms with my experiences. Everyone told me that parenting doesn’t come with a manual—and they were right. After three years in this journey, I’ve realized that while kids don’t need a lot of guidance beyond food, affection, and rest, adults are a whole different ballgame. If only they came with instructions!
That’s why I decided to seek therapy. (Best decision I ever made, by the way.) I’ve spent countless hours digging into my feelings, trying to comprehend the actions of those who have hurt or upset me in the past. I’ve learned to process emotions and, as the trending phrase goes, “feel all the feels.” It’s all about letting go.
And guess what? I’ve become pretty good at it. I can twist my mind into knots to understand someone’s perspective enough to forgive them. However, there is one group of people I’ll never be able to understand: the inconsiderate individuals who act as if my children don’t exist.
Sadly, my therapist informed me that this situation is not uncommon. As for how these individuals reconcile their actions, I’ll never know. I probably shouldn’t even give them the energy, but today, I feel compelled to voice my thoughts.
To those who vanished from my life after I became a parent, I have one question: What on earth is wrong with you? Do you genuinely believe you can claim to care for someone all these years—perhaps even their entire life—and then disappear the moment they embrace parenthood? Do you think for a second that you ever truly cared for me when my heart now belongs to my children, and you choose to ignore their presence?
If you didn’t want to be part of my life anymore, I could get that. I’m a flawed individual, and there are plenty of reasons to drift away. My humor can be over the top, I’m always running late—the list goes on. Yet, you were there through it all. You stuck around as a friend or family member until the moment my first child was born. Why the sudden change?
Honestly, it stung at first. I longed to share my joy with you, to introduce you to this amazing little person I knew you would adore. Look at this beautiful creation! Instead, my calls went unanswered, and visits were never planned. I’m not expecting you to drop everything and create a scrapbook of my children, but a little acknowledgment would have been nice—recognizing that they are a part of my world. After all, they are my children, and you professed to “love me.”
But I’m not hurting anymore. I refuse to wallow in self-pity because, truthfully, if you are too self-absorbed to recognize the joy these children bring, that’s your loss—and it’s a significant one.
You’re missing out on so much. My son’s laughter is like music, and his hugs can fill your heart with joy. His sharp sense of humor is something else, and there’s nothing like a toddler’s well-timed joke. And my daughter? She’s a fiery ball of energy, exploring the world one curiosity at a time. Her footsteps echo around our home, and that sound is pure bliss to a weary soul. If you’re okay with missing all of that, well, that’s rather unfortunate—for you.
By distancing yourself from my family the moment my children arrived, you left before the curtain even fell. You exited the stage when the best scenes were yet to unfold, and I genuinely feel sorry for you. These kids are phenomenal, and they have endless love to share.
It’s taken considerable work to reach this point, but I finally understand where I stand. So, to those former friends and family members who ghosted when my children entered the world: If you don’t care enough to know these remarkable kids you’re missing out on, then you don’t deserve to be part of their lives. It’s as simple as that.
I wish you well—truly. Because we are going to thrive, regardless.
For those interested in navigating the journey of parenthood, you can explore more about fertility options through these resources: this guide on treating infertility, or consider checking out this fertility booster for men. For couples on their path to parenthood, you might find this post about intracervical insemination beneficial too.
In summary, it’s essential to recognize the value of family and friendships, especially when new lives are introduced. Those who choose to step back are the ones who miss out on incredible experiences and connections.
Keyphrase: Ignored after parenthood
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