I’m definitely a wine-loving mom. As soon as the clock hits five, I indulge in a glass of Merlot. By bedtime, the bottle is gone, and I’m either tipsy or just a step away from it. Some evenings are more controlled than others; if I have big plans the next day, I might take it easy or skip drinking. But on other nights, my aim is clear: to get drunk, no questions asked.
Don’t try to sell me on the idea of just “a glass or two.” If that’s all I can have, I’d rather not even start. Drinking has turned into a bit of a game for me, a challenge to see how much I can consume without drawing the attention of others or collapsing into bed first.
But am I an alcoholic?
I don’t drink every day, and when it’s just me and the kids, I steer clear of alcohol completely. I always wait until after 5 PM to pour my first glass, and I aim to be in bed by 9, hoping to sleep off the effects by morning.
However, the mornings after a night of heavy drinking can be brutal. I get out of bed because I have to, but it’s a struggle. My head pounds, and my stomach feels unsettled. I can’t just sleep through it anymore; I have kids who depend on me. Plans I had for the day—errands, chores, activities with the little ones—often get sidelined as I nurse my hangover and push everything to the next day.
But am I an alcoholic?
My father was an alcoholic. He started his day with beer before 9 AM and switched to gin by afternoon. He’d drive us to school and practices, all while hiding his stash around the house. When he was confronted, he’d openly admit to being a raging alcoholic and seemed content to remain that way.
I drink wine like so many moms I see on social media. I find myself self-medicating to cope with tantrums, the pressure to juggle everything, and the monotony of being at home all day. I consider myself “responsible,” never driving under the influence and generally keeping my drinking in check. But I’m constantly counting down to my next drink. Is it at the Thursday networking event? Or during our Saturday date night? Once I start drinking, my only focus is where my next glass will come from. Should I order another drink now, or wait until we’re home? I’m on a mission, always looking for more. There’s never a feeling of “I’ve had enough.” It only ends when I can barely remember anything.
My health appears to be fine—my vitals are good, I eat healthily, and I work out regularly. Yet, this near-daily obsession with drinking is wreaking havoc on my life. It demands more and more from me each night, leaving me filled with guilt and shame come morning. It hinders my ability to be the best mom, wife, and friend I can be, limiting my opportunities to achieve great things for myself and my family.
Yet, all my friends indulge in wine too. We joke about “wine o’clock” and gather for girls’ nights, drinking as if it’s going out of style. Alcohol somehow makes the challenges of parenting feel less daunting and more entertaining. Surely we can’t all be alcoholics; we’re just women seeking a break. I’m just a mom looking for an outlet.
I’m intelligent, active, and surrounded by a family that loves me. I have people who mean the world to me, and I know they might walk away if I can’t get my act together. I have young children who rely on me to be stable, focused, and sober.
But am I an alcoholic?
The answer is a definitive yes. And it’s time to begin my recovery journey.
For those interested in the topic of home insemination, check out this post on home insemination kits or explore the home insemination kit options that are available. Additionally, if you want more information on fertility, I highly recommend this resource from the Cleveland Clinic: IVF and Fertility Preservation.
In summary, my relationship with alcohol is complex and damaging. It’s time to confront this issue head-on and seek a healthier way to cope with life’s challenges.
Keyphrase: Alcoholism and Recovery
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]