This past weekend, I hit the big 3-5. I treated myself to a rejuvenating massage (or as I like to call it, a few blissful hours of solitude) before returning home to unwrap gifts with my husband and kids, followed by indulging in some delectable cake.
It was a far cry from the raucous birthday bashes of my mid-20s, when I would dance the night away, blissfully unaware of what a hangover felt like, and without a care about preschool tuition. Nowadays, I cherish quieter celebrations at home. This is simply who I am now; my days revolve around nurturing my little ones, and I seize every precious moment of peace I can find.
This leads to my reluctance to forge new friendships (aside from my natural awkwardness and the universal challenge of making mom friends). Honestly, there just isn’t the bandwidth for new connections in my life. Keeping up with my current friends is already a challenge; I can’t even count the number of times I’ve suggested hanging out only to flake out because my scheduling skills are tragically lacking. With my kids at ages 3 and 5, I’m perpetually exhausted.
My favorite way to stay “social” these days is by lounging on the couch, chatting with friends through texts or on social media. It provides the flexibility I need to focus on my children while still maintaining some semblance of adult conversation—without even needing to put on real pants. Win-win!
I absolutely adore my friends; they are my chosen family who have been by my side through life’s ups and downs. I value them immensely, but even they often take a backseat to my family and, dare I say, my own needs.
So whether I bump into a fellow mom at the playground or during a PTA meeting, I know deep down that the likelihood of us becoming friends is slim. There’s only so much of me to go around, and when it comes to emotional investments, I’m already running on empty.
Fancy a margarita on a school night? Sorry, I’ll be buried in homework, prepping dinner, and catching up on work that slipped through the cracks during the day.
A Friday night out? Not a chance, since my husband and I are shelling out too much for a babysitter just to grab a few hours of adult time without our kids interrupting every other word.
Weekend outings? Well, that’s prime time for family, and I often use that window to sneak in some much-needed quiet.
Perhaps once my kids start sleeping through the night and I recover some energy, I’ll be open to the idea of new friendships. Until then, my focus is on being the best mom I can be and keeping my husband happy (sorry, babe). Those fleeting moments of silence are my treasure, and I intend to hold onto them fiercely.
So if you’re keen to be friends, feel free to text me anytime. Just know that in-person hangouts might be off the table for the foreseeable future. Unless you’re up for the movies, where we can enjoy the silence together for a couple of hours. In which case, we might just have a plan!
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Summary:
As a busy mom of young children, I’ve traded raucous birthday celebrations for quiet family time and found my social life thrives through texts and social media. With limited energy and time, I’m content to focus on my existing friendships and family, knowing that new mom friendships will have to wait until my kids are older.
Keyphrase: “Making New Mom Friends”
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