Dec. 25, 2023
Yesterday, I attended a mommy-and-me class with my little ones when an older mother joined our circle of friends in their early 30s. As we chatted about weekend plans, someone mentioned a 30th birthday celebration. The older mom took a deep breath and smiled, saying, “You all are so young. I feel like such an old lady,” with a hint of humor in her voice.
While she definitely wasn’t what I would call an “old lady,” she was clearly over 40, and I felt a twinge of sympathy. Here we were, still youthful and carefree, while she seemed to be navigating life with those a bit more seasoned. But that was then—eight years ago, to be precise. Fast forward to today, and I’m on the other side of 40, watching fresh-faced moms stroll their infants down the street and buckle them into car seats. Time has flown by, leaving its mark on my face, in the lines that linger after a smile and the silver strands in my hair. I now have children who can help themselves and a few new aches in my back when I stand up. Yet, I have something important to share with all those spirited young folks out there:
Don’t pity me. I’m having a blast! Any “wild” or “outlandish” thing I do that might be labeled a midlife crisis? Just pause right there—that’s not what this is about at all. Let me share a little story with you.
On my ninth birthday, my dad, Frank, came home sporting a gigantic cowboy hat. We lived in Brooklyn, a borough known for its vibrant culture and delicious pizza. Suddenly, my dad, a tough guy from the streets, developed a fondness for country music. His car was filled with Johnny Cash tapes, and he swapped his stylish tracksuits for flashy cowboy shirts. He wore oversized belt buckles and paraded that enormous hat around town. The neighborhood quickly dubbed him “Cowboy Frank,” and we all had a chuckle over what seemed like a classic midlife crisis.
Fast forward a few decades. A few years ago, as I approached 39, I found myself vibing with hip-hop and rediscovering my love for grunge. Around that time, I decided to get that tattoo I’d always dreamed of. I ended up with several and started flaunting them in muscle shirts. My summer shorts got shorter as I embraced my so-called “mommy legs,” and I began wearing heels again, no longer needing to carry a baby on my hip. I even leased a convertible (we affectionately call it “dad’s car”), cruising down the highway with hip-hop blasting, all while sporting my short shorts and heels. I distanced myself from people who brought negativity into my life and made more plans for nights out with friends.
None of this was a cry for assistance. My younger self might have labeled it a midlife crisis, and even my mom checked in to see if I was alright. But the truth is much simpler. I simply wanted to embrace those experiences. Not out of boredom, aging, or a looming sense of mortality—but because I genuinely wanted to!
If you’re fortunate, hitting middle age brings a new perspective. You still feel youthful, but you realize it’s essential to pursue what makes you happy. You start caring less about others’ opinions, decline invitations that don’t excite you, and shed friendships that don’t serve your best interests. It’s a realization that, while life is still ahead of you, it isn’t infinite. Looking back at my father’s antics at age 9, I see he was merely following his desires—age had nothing to do with it.
When you learn to let go of others’ judgments and stop wasting time on toxic relationships, that’s when the real fun begins. So don’t feel sorry for me; I’m just kicking things off! And whatever you do, please don’t label the joy I’m experiencing as a midlife crisis. Actually, call it whatever you want. I genuinely couldn’t care less!
For those interested in exploring more about pregnancy options and home insemination, check out this excellent resource for further information. And if you’re curious about the at-home insemination kit, you can find a detailed guide here.
In summary, turning 40 has opened my eyes to the beauty of life and self-discovery. It’s a time to embrace what brings joy, letting go of societal expectations and toxic influences.