Last night, after a spirited debate with my son and daughter about homework while simultaneously keeping our toddler entertained so my partner could cook, we finally cleared off the dining table. It was still sticky from who knows what, but we made it work.
My middle child, Mia, strutted into the dining room wearing a unicorn horn from a past Halloween, beaming with joy. The rest of the costume was probably strewn across the house, but honestly, that didn’t matter. Her attempt at turning our chicken tacos into candy was a flop, yet we all burst into laughter, even our school-aged kid.
After saying a prayer over our meal, we chatted about school performance, ways to improve grades for the next year, signing up for gymnastics, and our upcoming Disneyland trip.
Behind us, the kitchen was a total mess. Finding an uncluttered counter space would be a challenge. While our living room was tidy and the bookshelf neat—mainly to impress guests—our home was otherwise chaotic. If someone were to take a real tour of our place, they’d discover a stray pair of my son’s underwear on the floor, open dresser drawers, and unmade beds. They’d have to navigate through toys scattered around and might even stumble upon crumbs from breakfast. The art projects and school papers that were once on the dining table had been shoved into a bedroom, along with baskets of clean laundry that I had neglected to fold.
You might think that the clutter reflects our failure as parents, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I genuinely believe my partner and I are doing a great job. Our kids are bright, they share their thoughts and feelings with us about everything from friendships to future dreams. They are involved in extracurricular activities and won’t go to bed without a dozen hugs and kisses from us. Laughter fills our home, and our kids are truly enjoying their childhood—messy house and all.
I’ll admit, when I first became a father a decade ago, I often wondered why our home was always in disarray. I made excuses when visitors came over, fearing judgment and feeling a sense of shame. I even misplaced blame on my partner for the mess, a move I’m not proud of and have since apologized for. Over time, I’ve realized that we are raising three wonderful children with strong values and a good sense of humor, all while living in a less-than-perfect environment.
So, if you’re reading this from your cluttered kitchen table or a living room piled with half-folded laundry, I totally understand. Sure, your home is lived in. Yes, you’re at your wit’s end trying to get your stubborn child to place their dirty socks in the laundry basket. You may even dream of the day when your little one actually makes it to the toilet bowl. But chances are, you have incredible kids who you adore more than anything else, and that’s what truly counts.
I’m not suggesting that having a clean house indicates you’re doing something wrong. What I am saying is to avoid judging families with messy homes who are raising fantastic children, because they’re probably doing a lot of things right.
And if you’re looking for more insights on parenting or considering starting your own family journey, check out our other posts, including one on the fertility journey and artificial insemination or learn about the Cryobaby home insemination syringe kit for practical tips. For more information on planning your family, don’t miss this excellent resource from March of Dimes.
In summary, a messy home doesn’t equate to poor parenting. Embrace the chaos, cherish the laughter, and prioritize the love in your family.
Keyphrase: Messy house parenting
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