By: Emily Carter
Date: December 17, 2017
As I settled into my role as a school nurse, a phone call shattered my morning routine. I had just arrived at the Health Room, juggling a steaming cup of coffee and my coat, when my mother informed me that my father had been rushed to the hospital due to respiratory distress caused by his ongoing chemotherapy for esophageal cancer. He was placed on a ventilator, and the situation was critical.
Throughout the day, I struggled to concentrate on my duties while my mind raced with anxiety and dread, awaiting updates on his condition. Despite my overwhelming distress, I hesitated when a compassionate co-worker urged me to go home. I worried about leaving my responsibilities behind and the loss of income for the hours I would miss. I stubbornly believed that keeping busy was better than waiting anxiously at home. Ultimately, my co-worker’s support nudged me to prioritize my well-being and family.
Sadly, my father passed away shortly after. The next ten days were consumed with profound grief and the chaotic logistics of arranging his funeral across the country. Although my employer generously allowed me time off, it was unpaid, and I returned to work only two weeks later, still grappling with the weight of my loss. In the following months, I often found myself wanting to take a sick day, overwhelmed by grief that felt unbearable. Yet, I pushed through because saying, “I’m grieving” didn’t seem an acceptable reason to miss work. Unlike a visible ailment, grief is an invisible struggle, often dismissed or misunderstood.
Grieving—whether from the death of a loved one, a miscarriage, or a divorce—should be recognized as a valid reason to take a step back from work obligations. Unfortunately, the U.S. Department of Labor’s Fair Labor Standards Act does not mandate funeral leave, leading to inconsistent bereavement policies across companies. While three days off has become the norm, the process of grieving can extend far beyond that timeframe. Planning a funeral alone can take days, let alone the emotional toll that follows.
Fortunately, some companies are beginning to reassess their bereavement policies, inspired by leaders like Sarah Thompson, who reevaluated Facebook’s approach after losing her husband unexpectedly. In her heartfelt post, she highlighted the need for public policies that support families during times of loss. Facebook now offers employees up to 20 days of paid leave for the loss of an immediate family member and ten days for extended family.
Grief is a deeply personal experience. Some individuals may find closure relatively quickly, while others may struggle for years. Although long-term grief and depression treatment might fall under employer disability policies, the reality is that the death of a loved one cannot be conveniently timed or planned. No one should face the dilemma of choosing between their financial obligations and their emotional healing.
Grief isn’t a holiday; it’s a tumultuous journey through despair, made harder when employers overlook their employees’ emotional well-being. Programs like the Catastrophic Care Program in San Mateo County are vital. This initiative not only offers generous bereavement leave but also allows employees to donate their unused vacation time to colleagues facing personal crises. How remarkable is that? Such acts of kindness are exactly what we need when we confront the challenge of balancing work with the painful task of bidding farewell to someone we love.
Even after nearly five years since my father’s passing, there are still days when I wish I could take time off without fearing repercussions from my employer, allowing myself the space to truly process my grief. Because grief lingers, and on certain days, focusing on work becomes nearly impossible when the ache of missing someone feels so profound.
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In summary, everyone deserves the opportunity to grieve without the threat of financial hardship. Companies should adopt more compassionate policies that allow employees to navigate their grief without pressure or fear. After all, grief is a journey that requires time, understanding, and support.
Keyphrase: Grief and Employment Rights
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