At 31, I proudly declare my love for pink, boy bands, and Disney princesses. But wait—there’s more! I’m also a fierce advocate for gender equality, a progressive, intersectional feminist. My passion for smashing the patriarchy doesn’t diminish my fondness for makeup, baking chocolate chip cookies, or indulging in romantic comedies featuring the charming Reese Witherspoon. This might surprise some of you.
In her book, The Feminist’s Handbook for Raising a Girly Girl, author Lisa Thompson addresses the dilemma faced by feminists with daughters who adore tutus, princesses, and everything pink. I see this predicament echoed in my social media feeds, where friends who identify strongly as feminists fret over their daughters’ love for all things traditionally feminine. While it’s not a laughing matter, I can’t help but chuckle. I’m living proof that a princess-loving feminist exists, and trust me, it’s not an issue.
“I could never have a daughter obsessed with pink frills and princesses,” Thompson writes about her own experience. Life has a way of surprising us, doesn’t it? Although I didn’t particularly care for pink as a child, I embraced it in my 20s, declaring hot pink as my go-to color. The brighter, the better!
As a child, I played with Barbies until I was 13. My favorite destination was the “Barbie on Madison” section of FAO Schwartz, where I reveled in a vast array of dolls, both black and white, with hair of all lengths. I loved styling their hair (some may have lost strands to my enthusiastic curling iron) while hosting glamorous parties where boys were only occasionally invited. At my soirees, we discussed makeup, movies, and crushes, while the boys would kiss dramatically before heading home alone. Even at seven, I was crafting my own romantic comedies. My Barbies, though, were never just damsels—they had careers as CEOs, doctors, and even presidents, though my presidential Barbie wore a sparkly ball gown instead of a pantsuit.
Like many girls raised in the late ’90s, I found the intersection of feminism and femininity through the Spice Girls. Those five fierce females embraced their beauty, owned their sexuality, and told men to step aside. Their “Girl Power” message inspired a generation of girls to believe they could conquer the world, whether in a chic dress, leopard print shorts, or cozy track pants. I still aspire to be as confident and powerful as they were.
It can be frustrating to be labeled as less of a feminist for enjoying traditionally feminine things. Watching Snow White doesn’t undermine my feminist beliefs. Dreaming of a “happily ever after” is my way of coping with the challenges of single motherhood. Wanting to borrow my best friend’s adult tutu collection is simply about keeping fashion fun. I shave my legs for my own comfort, not to conform to societal expectations, and I wear makeup when it pleases me—not to impress anyone else.
There are some truly empowering princesses out there. Tiana was a hard worker who clearly wore the pants in her castle, while Rapunzel prioritized her independence over romance. Snow White even managed to get the Dwarfs to wash their hands before dinner, which is more than I can say for most kids! As a single mother raising a son, I teach him that women are equals by simply being myself, without fitting into anyone’s idea of what a “good” feminist should be.
So to all the parents like Thompson, raising daughters enamored with fairies and princesses, don’t worry. They may outgrow their girlish obsessions or, like me, explore other styles in adolescence only to reclaim their femininity as adults. Regardless, they’ll always understand what feminism is because you showed them.
Feminists advocate for equality and opportunity. We love pink tutus, black ensembles, or baggy jeans. We embrace diverse styles: t-shirts, stiletto heels, long hair, or shaved heads. We are nurses, engineers, teachers, and astronauts. We played with Barbies and Legos, jump ropes and baseballs. There’s no box we fit into, and isn’t that the beauty of it?
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In summary, embracing femininity doesn’t negate feminist ideals. It’s entirely possible to love princesses while advocating for gender equality.
Keyphrase: Feminism and femininity
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