In my family, we go all out for Christmas, and frankly, I make no apologies for it.
Last year, my brother-in-law shared a photo on social media showcasing the mountain of combined gifts under their tree. The reaction was quite the spectacle—there were gasps, exclamations of disbelief, and even a few shocked comments. I get it; it was a lot. Even we were a bit taken aback, wondering if the gifts had multiplied on their own. Yet, beneath the surprise, I felt a pang of embarrassment. I wanted to explain that this massive pile was for eight family members, and that many of the gifts were hand-me-downs from my niece to my daughter—wrapped simply for the fun of it. However, my defenses felt weak, and I ended up feeling ashamed about our so-called extravagant Christmas.
I swore I would be more restrained this year. That’s what I told myself back in October. But now, in mid-December, getting into my closet feels like a scene straight from an action movie, where I’m dodging obstacles in a tight space—just without the glamour.
I’ve scrutinized my kids’ wish lists repeatedly, trying to find something to return. (Yes, I even made an Excel spreadsheet—now you can really judge me!) But how could I choose? Each toy is something I know they’ll cherish and enjoy. They are truly grateful kids.
Recently, I voiced my guilt about being materialistic to my husband, and he reminded me that we only “spoil” our children during Christmas. We don’t buy toys on a whim throughout the year, and for birthdays, they often receive either a few gifts or none at all, with family outings taking precedence. He pointed out that we’re instilling the true meaning of Christmas: love, charity, and gratitude. We engage our kids in discussions about global living conditions, emphasizing our good fortune and the importance of giving back. We donate to charities and prioritize family time, not just during the holidays but all year round.
He loves the idea that our children will have vivid memories of chaotic Christmas mornings filled with unwrapping excitement, alongside the more meaningful lessons we impart. And honestly, I do too. I have fond memories of my own Christmases, filled with torn wrapping paper, joyous squeals, and a flurry of excitement as I tore into gifts left by a jolly fellow in a red suit. Those memories are dear to me, and I cherish them.
So why can’t I shake off the guilt about the mountain of toys in my closet? If I’m being honest, I know it’s not about my feelings regarding Christmas or materialism; it’s about the judgment I feel from others. Social media is flooded with posts from parents asserting they limit their kids to just three gifts or have sworn off presents entirely. Some even shame those who buy their children too many toys, claiming it fosters materialism or signifies poor parenting.
But the reality is, how families choose to celebrate Christmas—or any holiday—is their own business. It’s unfair to judge a parent’s capabilities based on one day’s worth of evidence. My family, along with others who embrace a more extravagant approach to Christmas, isn’t doing it “wrong.” We simply have our own tradition, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a mountain of presents to wrap.
In Summary
The author grapples with feelings of guilt regarding their family’s Christmas traditions of abundance, while ultimately recognizing the importance of creating cherished memories and instilling values in their children. They argue that every family’s way of celebrating is valid and shouldn’t be judged by outsiders.
Keyphrase: Christmas traditions in families
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