Letting a toddler wander beside you in a store feels akin to taking an untrained puppy for a stroll—every few steps, they’re sidetracked by something fascinating, and they might sprint off at a moment’s notice. I was aware of the challenges, yet I felt too exhausted to insist my little one ride in the cart when she adamantly refused. After all, I was also managing my sleepy five-month-old. Thus, I allowed my three-year-old daughter to explore the aisles of Target on foot.
She stopped to admire fuzzy slippers and gave me those irresistible puppy-dog eyes over a tub of Mega Blocks. Miraculously, for about 25 minutes, she managed to keep moving. That is, until we reached the checkout line.
Her gaze landed on a massive bag of M&Ms, perfectly placed for her to spot. Those clever marketers and their strategic candy displays! Just when I thought we were in the clear, the atmosphere shifted, and I knew we were in for it.
“Come on, sweetheart,” I said in my most soothing mama voice, forcing a smile. “No candy today. You don’t even like those, right?”
She stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. What toddler doesn’t crave colorful chocolate?
“I love them!” she cried, collapsing onto the grimy floor in tears. The baby woke up, adding her wails to the chaos. I set my cart aside and knelt down to address my older daughter, who, in addition to crying, had begun to kick. Meanwhile, the baby squirmed against my chest, searching for comfort.
Then, out of nowhere, an older gentleman approached, frowning deeply. “What’s wrong with her?” he barked, gesturing dismissively towards my daughter. “You need to get her out of here!” he shouted, before walking away, leaving me there with my distraught kids.
I was taken aback. Up until that moment, I never questioned if something was wrong with my child. Sure, she was spirited and strong-willed, and yes, I had read that book about energetic kids. But it never crossed my mind that there was anything inherently “wrong” with her. She was simply herself—an exuberant, emotional little whirlwind who sometimes didn’t follow directions or make the best choices. And did I mention she was just 3?
I wanted to scoop up my children and flee, but I also felt the urge to confront that rude man. How could he suggest there was something “wrong” with my child? While her behavior at that moment wasn’t ideal, it didn’t mean there was anything wrong with her or her feelings of disappointment.
Here’s the truth: children are new to the world and experience emotions just as deeply as adults, albeit without the skills to manage them effectively. They might behave in ways that are loud, annoying, or downright frustrating, but that doesn’t indicate a flaw in their character. They are simply expressing themselves, bursting with big feelings and exuberance.
Kids can make us uncomfortable, embarrassing us or frustrating us when they seemingly disregard our requests. But guess what? That is entirely normal. They are exploring the world and navigating intense emotions, often without an understanding of right or wrong. Their instinctive reactions are simply part of growing up.
As parents, it is our responsibility to guide them in managing their feelings, teaching them appropriate behaviors. There is nothing inherently “wrong” with any child, regardless of their actions. While their behavior may sometimes be unacceptable or even dangerous, the child themselves is not flawed. When adults label kids as “wrong,” it can be harmful, leading them to think they are unworthy or unwanted.
If you believe for a second that I ignore my child’s bad behavior, think again. When my kid is acting out, I address it. If she can’t stop, we leave the situation. I won’t publicly shame her, as that undermines her self-esteem. After we’ve calmed down, I make it a point to discuss what went wrong, helping her learn how to respond better next time.
Feeling disappointed or upset is completely normal. Frustration and sadness are part of the human experience. The goal isn’t to eliminate these feelings because they’re “wrong,” but to learn how to cope with them. This is a skill developed over time, and children require our empathy, not judgment.
In short, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a child.
For more insights on parenting, check out our post on the home insemination kit, where we discuss the journey towards parenthood. You might also find useful information on fertility boosters for men to consider. And for anyone interested in deeper resources, NHS provides valuable information on intrauterine insemination.