As a proud product of the ’80s, I have an undying affection for everything from that iconic decade. Back then, my hair was defying gravity thanks to layers of Aqua Net, and I sported seven pairs of socks with my trusty white Keds. My beloved denim jacket still hangs in my closet, and I have no shame in showing off my dance moves to “Hangin’ Tough” by New Kids on the Block in the supermarket aisle.
Beyond nostalgia, there’s nothing quite like settling down to revisit the ’80s movies that shaped my childhood and the culture of my generation. The moment I hear the opening notes of “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds, I’m transported back to Judd Nelson’s unforgettable performance in The Breakfast Club.
Once my kids came along, I could hardly wait to share the classics that had such an impact on my upbringing. I yearned for them to experience the sheer joy I felt when John Cusack held that boombox aloft or when Jake Ryan whispered “Yeah, you!” to Samantha in Sixteen Candles. I was especially hopeful that they’d adore Steel Magnolias just as much as I do.
When the time was right, my husband and I eagerly kicked off our mission to introduce them to the magic of ’80s cinema with Spaceballs. Our son, a huge Star Wars fan, seemed like the perfect audience for Rick Moranis’s comical portrayal of Dark Helmet. We snuggled up on the couch with blankets and popcorn, only to quickly realize the mistake we had made.
I had completely forgotten about the frequent swearing and questionable sexual innuendos in Spaceballs. By the end of the film, my husband and I were exchanging anxious glances as our kids asked about chastity belts. One of our cherished films had turned into a surprising parenting obstacle—my kids were utterly amused by the term “asshole.” Thanks, Moranis.
We quickly recognized that ’80s movies should come with a special warning label—one meant for parents. It should clearly indicate the level of unsolicited sex education your child might receive while watching. Whether you’re considering a flick for family movie night or just reminiscing, it’s wise to know how many curse words your kids will encounter. Here are a few cautionary notes:
Doc Hollywood
What’s not to love about a charming rom-com featuring Michael J. Fox as a plastic surgeon who accidentally detours to the Deep South? Well, unless you want your child to witness full nudity when the female lead emerges from a lake and takes an eternity to cover up. My heart raced when my child asked why my breasts didn’t look like hers!
National Lampoon’s Vacation
We’ve all experienced a chaotic family road trip, but unless you’re ready for your kids to witness Chevy Chase’s wife performing a striptease or Christie Brinkley’s skinny-dipping antics, you might want to skip this one—despite John Candy’s hilarious role as the security guard.
Stand By Me
This coming-of-age classic, featuring Wil Wheaton, follows four boys on a quest to find a deceased child’s body. Seriously, what were our parents thinking when they let us watch this?
Edward Scissorhands
If you want your kids to wake up terrified from nightmares featuring a goth man with scissors for hands, then this is the film for you.
Ghostbusters
I completely forgot about Dan Aykroyd receiving a lap dance from a ghost. Watching my teenage son chuckle at a scene where a Ghostbuster is aroused by a supernatural entity was undeniably awkward.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
I’d love to make a “phony phone call to Ed Rooney” like everyone else, but realizing this movie centers around skipping school and deceiving parents was a real letdown. And don’t get me started on the swearing. I had no memory of Ferris being such a potty mouth!
The Breakfast Club
Hey, Claire, Allison, Andrew, John, and Brian? I need you all to serve five Saturdays of detention for your foul language and sexually charged discussions in front of my tweens. Love you all—never change!
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
You might think a heartwarming movie about an alien hiding in a child’s closet would be harmless, but when Elliott shouts “penis breath” at the dinner table, it’s enough to make any parent gasp.
Our generation undoubtedly produced some of the best—and worst—films, and it’s hard not to want to share that excitement with our children. Watching them connect with the same scenes that thrilled me as a kid brings back fond memories of my Esprit jeans and Liz Claiborne purse. But let’s be honest: it’s not all “Some Kind of Wonderful” when you have to wait until your kids are older before they can join you for a movie marathon.
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In summary, while the nostalgia of ’80s films is strong, they may not be as kid-friendly as we remember. It’s essential to consider the content before sharing these beloved classics with the next generation.
Keyphrase: ’80s Movie Ratings and Parenting
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