Anxiety. I have anxiety. Phew, I finally said it. But wait—why don’t I feel any better? Is this something I’m not supposed to talk about? Am I meant to navigate this alone or confide only in my doctor? Oh, right—therapy is the way to go. But if I go to therapy, does that mean something is wrong with me? I mean, my life is supposed to be perfect, right? So what’s there to be anxious about?
This past year has been a mixed bag for my family. Yes, my oldest, Emma, is excelling in school, my partner and I both received promotions, and my middle child has mellowed out a bit. However, the hardest moment came when we learned that my mom’s health was not improving. Honestly, it’s been one of the toughest years of my life.
My anxiety levels have skyrocketed recently, and I’ve realized that I need to talk about it. Why? Because I can’t heal in isolation! How many times have you shared your struggles with someone who understands? Opening up about our challenges doesn’t weaken us; it makes us stronger. Seeking help doesn’t make us weak; it shows we’re human.
In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown writes, “True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world.” I am far from perfect—I bite my nails, I sometimes yell at my kids, and yes, I indulge in a bit too much wine. Yet I know, through it all, that I am a good mom. In fact, my anxiety has made me a better one; I know that sounds wild, but hear me out.
My oldest daughter, Emma, has begun showing signs of anxiety herself. She feels physically sick when she doesn’t do well on a test, and she completely shuts down when she feels overwhelmed. My own experiences allow me to recognize her struggles and be there for her. During her tough moments, I’ll rub her back for hours while others might give up after 10 minutes.
Then there’s my middle child, Lily, who gets so upset when she feels unheard that she can’t catch her breath. We’ve developed a routine where we make eye contact and breathe deeply together until she calms down. I genuinely hope my youngest, Mia, doesn’t face anxiety, but I’m prepared to support her if she does.
Whenever I experience an anxiety episode or panic attack, I make it a point to inform those around me. This lets me excuse myself to gather my thoughts without worrying about what others might think. Since I’ve started being open with family, friends, and colleagues, I’ve felt an immense wave of support. It’s been freeing to express my vulnerability instead of hiding away in the bathroom to cry.
I wish every workplace was as understanding about mental health as mine has been over the last six years. Sadly, many aren’t. I recently spoke with someone who told me, “You just need to train your mind to work through it.” When I explained the chemical imbalances involved in anxiety, they insisted, “I managed mine without medication, so anyone can.”
Instead of dictating solutions to others, we should ask, “How can I help?” or even better, “I’ll take care of this for you.” Sheryl Sandberg shared that after losing her husband, the most helpful thing a friend did was take the initiative to help rather than waiting for her to ask. “I’m bringing over coffee. What type of bagel do you want?” is far more effective than leaving the burden on someone already struggling.
Since I opened up about my anxiety, I’ve been met with kindness and understanding. People are stepping in to support me when I need it most and are forgiving when I decline invitations that I might have accepted in the past. Struggling with mental health isn’t a sign of weakness; being courageous enough to discuss it is what truly matters. I hope everyone dealing with anxiety finds the support they need. If you’re struggling and feel isolated, please reach out to someone—myself included! Sharing my journey with anxiety has proven to be one of my best decisions, and I encourage you to do the same if it feels right for you.
Thank you to my family and friends for your unwavering support. I appreciate you all more than you know.