Dear [insert name],

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I regret to inform you that I wasn’t able to attend your gathering, be it a party, event, picnic, or celebration. Please understand, it’s nothing personal—I assure you it’s all about my current life situation. You see, I’ve brought a couple of tiny humans into this world who seem to have taken over my existence.

Since becoming a mom five years ago, sleep has become a distant memory, and I’m perpetually exhausted. My mental faculties started to decline somewhere around the halfway point of my first pregnancy, and they haven’t quite returned to normal. If we’ve spoken recently, I may have repeated myself more than once—apologies for that! Honestly, I often lose track of the day and have forgotten what it’s like to engage in adult conversations that don’t revolve around the latest PBS Kids shows.

After welcoming my second child, the chaos multiplied exponentially. My life is now a whirlwind of managing my kids and deciphering their constant chatter, which often includes the word “butt” at the most inopportune moments. So, back to the main point: I had to skip your event because if I had a few hours to spare, I’d much rather do almost anything else. #SorryNotSorry.

Here are just a few things I’d relish doing with that precious free time:

  • Locking myself in my room with a gripping novel, some tunes, and a glass of wine.
  • Taking a rejuvenating nap—oh, how I miss those.
  • Treating myself to hair or nail pampering, just to briefly recall what it feels like to have time for such luxuries.
  • Going shopping—real shopping, in a mall, while wearing actual pants (well, leggings, let’s not get too crazy).
  • Indulging in Thai food or another favorite dish my family despises. I’d happily grab it to-go and savor it in the car, music blasting.
  • Enjoying a movie without interruptions, allowing me to actually focus on the plot. Just take my money already!

The last thing on my list of preferred activities? Engaging in small talk with unfamiliar faces. It’s not you or your gathering—it’s my lingering postpartum anxiety that makes large groups in tight spaces feel overwhelming. I end up in a cycle of anxiety and sweating, which only exacerbates my discomfort.

And if you’re wondering why I can’t just bring the kids along, well, you probably don’t have children. The prospect of trying to manage a screeching toddler in front of strangers? No, thank you. “Don’t worry, everyone, he’s always like this! Just a regular Tuesday!”

So, while I’m sorry for missing out, let’s be grateful I saved you from the delightful chaos of a four-year-old and the accompanying “people sweats.” I promise I’ll find my adulting energy again soon, but for now, I’m hoarding all my free time for myself—trust me, I need it as much as I want it. After all, “Happy wife, less likely to set fire to everything” should be the saying, right?

For anyone out there curious about at-home options for starting a family, check out this comprehensive guide on intrauterine insemination. If you’re interested in DIY methods, you might also want to explore this artificial insemination kit or this intracervical syringe kit for more information.

In summary, my absence from your event stems from a mix of exhaustion and a desire to recharge. I’m navigating the ups and downs of parenthood and appreciate your understanding as I prioritize some much-needed self-care.

Keyphrase: “excuses for missing events due to parenting fatigue”

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