My youngest child was a slow adapter when it came to potty training. He faced accidents until he was 8 and continued needing pull-ups at night until he turned 10. I tried everything—limiting liquids before bedtime and even waking him up at night—but nothing worked. Now at 11, he clearly communicates when he needs to go, but I still keep an emergency stash of empty soda bottles in the car as a precaution.
I started worrying about his bathroom habits when he was just 4, especially since his older siblings had no such issues. Our pediatrician reassured me that every child develops differently, and the ability to “hold it” varies. She warned me that making it a big deal could worsen the situation. Shaming or punishing a child for accidents only fosters insecurity, making the problem even more pronounced.
Once my son began elementary school, I noticed that his bathroom breaks were restricted, which concerned me greatly. What does this mean for a child whose body doesn’t function like his peers? As my pediatrician emphasized, children should have the freedom to use the restroom when they need to—it’s not a privilege. Yet, many schools enforce scheduled bathroom breaks and limit the number of passes students can use.
Take my fifth grader, for example. He’s allowed only three bathroom passes a month or can go during “transition time,” which changes daily. If he manages to save his passes, he gets a reward—lunch with a teacher and a cookie. Really? A reward for holding it in? That’s absurd!
Many educators worry about students “abusing” their bathroom privileges, but I suspect this is overblown. If a child misuses these privileges, they should be addressed individually rather than imposing strict rules on all students. Encouraging kids to ignore their bodily needs for a cookie sends the wrong message.
Children who struggle with potty training often take longer to recognize their urges, and sometimes they don’t even feel the need until it’s almost too late. Creating an environment where a child might have an accident at school because they’ve exhausted their passes is inexcusable.
Dr. Alex Taylor, a pediatric urologist, stated in a Parents magazine article, “Students must be allowed to use the restroom when they feel the urge—not after waiting for 10 or 20 minutes.” He cautions that holding in urine can lead to lasting damage to young bladders and increase the risk of accidents, bedwetting, and urinary tract infections. Ignoring the urge to poop is even worse; I’ve lost count of how many times my son has come home complaining he had to go but held it all day just to avoid missing out on a special lunch or a cookie.
As an adult, I can’t imagine having my bathroom breaks dictated, and my bladder is fully developed. This is too much to expect from our kids. We can still enforce consequences for misbehavior without restricting bathroom access or rewarding children for not responding to their needs.
Dr. Taylor rightly points out, “Kids are damaging their internal organs—and their self-esteem. Nothing is more embarrassing for a child than having to walk to the school nurse with wet pants.” Using the restroom is a basic bodily function and should never be treated as a privilege or used as a form of punishment.
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In summary, limiting children’s bathroom breaks can lead to serious health issues, feelings of embarrassment, and low self-esteem. Schools should prioritize children’s well-being by allowing them to respond to their bodily needs freely and without shame.
Keyphrase: Limiting Kids’ Bathroom Breaks
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