As the festive season approaches, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the demands that come with it. Who else but moms is responsible for making sure the stockings are filled, the perfect gifts are purchased, and that the Elf on the Shelf is creatively repositioned each night? The reality of modern motherhood means the holidays can add to our stress, making us feel inadequate. Are we keeping up with trendy holiday cards? Are we buying every single item on our kids’ wish lists? Are we whipping up that popular dish from last year’s neighborhood gathering, even if it takes hours to prepare?
A recent thought-provoking essay titled “Holiday Magic Is Made By Women. And It’s Exhausting” highlights the mental load that often falls on women during this time. It identifies the multitude of tasks piling up in the lead-up to Christmas as “emotional labor.” However, while it’s true that many holiday responsibilities tend to land on women, labeling it all as “emotional labor” might not capture the full picture.
Yes, a chic holiday card may seem essential in today’s social media-driven world, but in reality, it’s not. The author discusses the elaborate process of coordinating a family photo shoot for their annual card, which involves juggling emails about timing and location, while also considering the weather. Afterward, there’s the task of selecting the photo, crafting the perfect holiday message, and the tedious work of addressing and mailing them. But do we really need to do this?
In a world dominated by Facebook, Instagram, and texting, people in our lives see our kids regularly. I made a conscious decision to make holiday cards optional a while ago. Some years I send them out, while in others, I skip it entirely. And guess what? No one truly cares either way.
We often forget that we have choices. No one is pressuring us to create a picture-perfect holiday experience like some lifestyle guru. The essay rightly notes that even therapists recommend dropping a few obligations to reduce stress. But why not drop a dozen?
The self-imposed pressure to be a holiday superstar isn’t the same as true emotional labor, which refers to the daily responsibilities women and moms handle that often go unnoticed. I manage all communications with my kids’ schools, doctors, extracurricular activities, and maintain an open dialogue about their social lives. I even remember to buy toothpaste! No doubt, I shoulder a significant share of the mental workload for my family. However, the optional holiday tasks should be fun, not burdensome.
Much of the holiday hustle is unnecessary, yet we often convince ourselves it’s vital. Instead of trying to manage the “emotional labor” we place on ourselves, let’s just say “no” to whatever doesn’t bring us joy. Skipping the holiday card this year won’t cause a catastrophe—I can simply share a quick photo on social media for relatives to see. Yes, some people might miss our participation in the annual Ugly Sweater Christmas Potluck, but they’ll still have a blast without us. I could also opt for gift cards for some folks on my list rather than stressing over the perfect gift. We have enough genuine concerns without adding holiday-related stress to the mix.
Ultimately, many of the tasks we feel obligated to complete stem from a desire to avoid disappointing others. What about prioritizing your own happiness? If there are individuals in your life who impose unrealistic expectations on you, perhaps it’s time to stop worrying about their judgment. Your mental health shouldn’t come at the cost of fulfilling superficial holiday demands. If the pressure to meet these expectations is ruining your enjoyment of the season, just say no.
For more insights into managing your journey to motherhood, including practical advice on home insemination, check out this article on at-home insemination kits. For those interested in enhancing fertility, consider exploring fertility supplements, as they can provide valuable support. Additionally, for comprehensive information on pregnancy, visit this excellent resource from the NIH: Pregnancy Health Topics.
In summary, take a step back this holiday season. Recognize that you have the power to prioritize your own well-being over excessive holiday expectations.
Keyphrase: holiday emotional labor
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]