Preschool has become a pivotal transition for my children. On one side lies the time spent solely with me, while the other involves a significant portion of their day spent in a classroom setting. This transition can be quite challenging.
When we enrolled our son in preschool, our main goal was to give him more social interaction with peers. We also wanted to help him adjust to a classroom environment where learning and expected behaviors take place. The hope was that once he grasped the norms, he would naturally adopt them. Some days he succeeds, while on others, he struggles.
This journey has been enlightening for me as well. I’ve come to realize that I no longer fret about whether my son can “sit still” in class.
I can almost hear the collective gasps from parents who might disagree with me. I used to feel the same way. Daily pick-ups often turned into mini parent-teacher meetings, leaving me feeling embarrassed and frustrated. Most children in his class seemed able to sit through circle time without any fuss. Why was my son different?
Then it hit me: he’s in preschool. The “pre” is crucial. His behavior isn’t abnormal for his age, even if he struggles more than some of his classmates. Expecting a child aged 4 to 5 to remain still and absorb information for extended periods is asking a lot.
I compare the urge to fidget to having an itch that needs scratching. If I can’t scratch it, it becomes all-consuming. So I’ve partnered with my son’s teacher to discover ways for him to manage this natural need to move.
Exploring options for accommodating fidgeting has shown me just how widespread this issue is. There’s a thriving industry focused on providing children with ways to fidget during class. Research indicates that allowing kids to fidget can actually enhance their concentration. Innovations like sensory feedback chairs, yoga balls replacing traditional seating, and rubber bands attached to desk legs for foot bouncing are becoming increasingly popular. When kids don’t focus on their discomfort from sitting still, they’re better equipped to engage with the lessons.
In my son’s preschool class, some kids can remain seated without issue, while others, like him, have different needs. Just as every child is unique, their learning styles vary widely, and we should adapt accordingly.
I’m not suggesting that children should be allowed to play with roller skates and kazoos during lessons. There are boundaries to maintain. Wiggling is one thing; invading personal space is another, and my son understands that distinction. When given a task by his teacher, I expect him to comply. We often discuss the importance of being mindful of his classmates, and disrespect is never tolerated.
However, he’s not being disrespectful; he’s simply a lively child, which is perfectly normal.
Now, when I pick up my son from preschool, I still check in with his teacher to see what’s working for him that day, and we empathize about the tougher moments. This mutual understanding has eased my frustrations. I no longer feel embarrassed or compelled to reprimand him for simply being a 4-year-old.
By letting go of unrealistic expectations and creating appropriate accommodations, he’s not penalized for his age-appropriate behavior. As a result, he’s happier, enjoys school more, and transitions with greater ease. Naturally, this mom is much more content too.
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In summary, preschoolers shouldn’t be held to the unrealistic standard of sitting still. Understanding and accommodating their natural tendencies is crucial for their happiness and success in school.
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