Taking a deep breath, I slid into the driver’s seat and fastened my seatbelt. With my hands firmly gripping the steering wheel at 10 and 2, I turned to the guy next to me and laid it all out. “My mom, her friend, my boyfriend, and his two buddies spent an entire day trying to teach me how to parallel park,” I confessed. “I just can’t do it. But I swear, I’ll never attempt it again after I pass this test.” Not exactly what your driving instructor wants to hear, right? But there was no denying the truth—I was a solid driver in almost every regard except for this one skill. Regular parking? No problem. But when it comes to squeezing my car into those tight parallel spots? Total chaos.
So here I was, throwing myself at the mercy of my driving instructor in a last-ditch effort to leave the DMV with my license. He nodded. What did that nod mean? I felt even more anxious.
As I started the test, I signaled, came to smooth stops, and executed my three-point turn like a pro. But as we neared the end, I braced myself for failure. “Back up. Turn the wheel. Straighten out. Stop. Good.” At least, I think that’s what he said. I still don’t really understand how I passed, but I kept my word.
Fast forward thirteen years—I’ve been a licensed driver for ages now, and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve attempted parallel parking. And I’m not talking about successful attempts. Just being honest here. Whenever possible, I avoid parallel parking like it’s the town’s overenthusiastic PTA president. Who has time for that?
Once, on my way to visit a friend, he excitedly told me there was a parking spot right in front of his apartment, and he was standing in it to save it for me. But when I saw that it was a parallel spot, I waved him off and drove a mile to find a parking garage instead. The twenty-minute walk was totally worth it.
Driving around in circles looking for street parking wastes gas and adds to road congestion. I’m actually doing the environment a favor by avoiding it altogether. Yet, whenever I do try, I somehow attract an audience. Why does everyone feel the need to stop and watch me? It’s like performance anxiety, and I once tried to parallel park outside a restaurant, taking what felt like an eternity. To my surprise, when I finally emerged from my car, the diners applauded. I took a bow; I had earned that round of applause, after all.
There’s no shame in my parallel parking struggles. Sign me up for any self-driving or flying car that becomes affordable one day, as long as it can parallel park for me. I genuinely don’t care about anything else. Even if it gets three miles to the gallon, I’d feel a tad guilty, but not enough to keep torturing myself with parallel parking.
Let me live free of the stress of street parking, so I can maintain a bit of dignity when the time comes. Pretty please.
This article was originally published on November 25, 2017.
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Summary
In this humorous reflection, Jamie shares her trials and tribulations with parallel parking, revealing the anxiety and audience that often accompany her attempts. Despite being a competent driver in other areas, parallel parking remains an insurmountable challenge. She dreams of a future where cars can park themselves, allowing her to avoid this stressful experience altogether.
Keyphrase: parallel parking struggles
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