I Struggled with Breastfeeding Guilt, and Here’s Why

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Let’s be honest: the pressure to breastfeed can feel overwhelming. Each week, countless websites feature stories from mothers sharing their trials and tribulations with nursing, pumping, or a combination of both. Recently, Jenna Lane opened up about her own heartfelt journey, and while her narrative was met with much understanding, I couldn’t help but notice the harsh comments that surfaced on social media. Many were supportive, yet a surprising number were judgmental and lacking in empathy—some directed at Jenna and others aimed at fellow mothers who resonated with her experience.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but enough is enough. There’s no justification for tearing someone down based on their feeding choices. It’s a personal decision, and it should remain that way. While I absolutely recognize the benefits of breastfeeding, I would never criticize someone who opts out of it.

The Commitment of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding isn’t merely a choice; it’s a demanding commitment. Whether you’re nursing, pumping, or juggling both, it’s akin to being a full-time dairy factory. I’m a mother of two, and I’ve breastfed both of my children. It was far from easy; I faced tears, frustrations, sore nipples, and an emotional rollercoaster. My first child was nursed for three months before my supply diminished. With my second, I reached the six-month mark, and the experience was significantly different.

My supply was abundant. I was feeding her and still had enough to store in the freezer—a sight that filled me with pride. However, I was also teetering on the edge of exhaustion. After three months, I transitioned to exclusively pumping, hoping it would alleviate some of the pressure. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

I fought hard to maintain my supply, and fortunately, my support system encouraged me to prioritize my well-being, assuring me that stopping wouldn’t equate to failure. But as my baby reached six months, I finally reached my breaking point.

Breaking Free from Guilt

I was done—done with being tethered to the pump multiple times a day, done with the frantic rush to pump before attending to my kids, done with bringing my pump everywhere in case of emergencies, and done with the painful clogged ducts that made showering a dreaded experience. I was tired of waking up soaked and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt shackled by the constant need to pump while juggling my children’s needs.

That guilt was self-imposed. I felt blessed to be able to breastfeed successfully, but the incessant stories of others’ struggles, often accompanied by judgmental remarks, only heightened my anxiety. Then one day, I had an epiphany: “Forget them!” Those critics don’t know my life or my journey. These are my breasts, and I’ll make choices that suit me and my baby. She was happy and healthy, having had six months of breast milk (plus some frozen for later).

So, I decided to stop. I ended up with mastitis (of course), but I regained control over my body and sanity. And guess what? My baby didn’t notice the change. The world didn’t end, and I was able to catch up on some much-needed sleep without the constant cycle of pumping.

Support and Understanding

At the end of the day, a happy mom is a good mom. To those who act as the breastfeeding police, it’s time to stop imposing your standards on others. Milk guilt is tough enough without the added pressure of judgment from others.

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In summary, the journey of breastfeeding is deeply personal and filled with challenges. It’s crucial to support each other and respect the choices that mothers make for themselves and their children.

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