Tonight was supposed to be a “No TV Tuesday” for my partner and me—a night dedicated to reconnecting amidst the chaos of raising our three little ones. However, holiday preparations took over, so we decided to shift our no-TV day to Wednesday and catch one of our favorite shows at its usual airtime.
What really struck us this week wasn’t the current episode but rather the teaser for next week’s. That brief, heart-wrenching clip brought tears streaming down our faces. We learned that Kate lost her baby, and the emotional aftermath depicted was painfully relatable.
Fourteen months ago, we experienced a miscarriage ourselves. Like Kate and Toby, our loss occurred early on—something many people consider “the easy kind.” It’s the type of loss that, while common, doesn’t lessen the heartache.
Those days after our miscarriage were some of the loneliest. It felt as though we shouldn’t grieve so deeply, as if our loss was somehow less valid compared to others who have lost their babies closer to term. Yet, the pain was real and intense.
During that heart-wrenching weekend, as we prepared for the procedure to remove our baby, we took turns crying in silence. When the tears wouldn’t stop, I suggested we confront our grief head-on. Genetic testing had confirmed it was a girl, so we honored her memory by naming her after my great-great-grandmother. That night was gut-wrenching, filled with dreams of who she might have been and what it would be like to hold her someday.
I thought we had processed our loss after that night. But seeing that 30-second preview reopened the floodgates. As we embraced, I realized that this grief is always just beneath the surface.
The past year has been a rollercoaster for us. Our son faced health complications that nearly cost him his life. Last night, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize the swollen, red-eyed figure staring back—one reminiscent of the eighth-grade bully who called me Ms. Piggy. I’m tired of looking like that.
So, this week, I simply can’t bring myself to watch the episode. Creators, I appreciate your effort in bringing genuine emotions to television, but some experiences are just too painful to relive.
For those navigating similar challenges, I recommend checking out this excellent resource on IVF and considering helpful products like fertility boosters, which can provide support during your journey. Also, if you’re interested in exploring options at home, the at-home insemination kit is worth a look.
In summary, while we all face our struggles, sometimes stepping back and prioritizing self-care is essential. Tonight, I’ll be taking that step.
Keyphrase: “navigating pregnancy loss”
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]