I seem to produce large children—healthy, robust little ones. The newborn clothes are gathering dust in the attic because they never fit my kids. According to the World Health Organization, both of my children are in the 99th percentile for height. It appears I’ve got two of the tallest toddlers around!
By 18 months, my daughter was already the size of a typical 3-year-old. My son, the youngest in his preschool class, towers over his peers. They often come across as older than they really are. I remember when my son was just 1 year old, he was throwing a fit in the grocery checkout line, furious about being confined to the cart. I rushed to load our items on the belt, hoping to escape before his tantrum reached epic proportions. Amidst the chaos, I heard someone in the next line comment, “Wow, somebody’s 2!”
Actually, that “somebody” is just 1! Just a toddler! And the person making that comment? Definitely an adult and a bit of a jerk, if I’m being honest.
People frequently mistake my kids for being older than their actual age. Usually, it’s harmless—maybe a skeptical glance from someone at the entrance, questioning if my giant child qualifies for a free pass. There have been times I’ve had to step in to correct other parents who are scolding my kids for behavior that’s perfectly normal for their age. “She’s not even 2 yet; she doesn’t know better!”
Like any parent, I teach my children manners and kindness, and discourage them from munching on mystery snacks found on the floor. But let’s be real—at certain ages, there’s only so much you can expect. Even when no one outright states it, I can feel the assumptions from other parents. They see my child as a “big kid” compared to their tiny one, and suddenly they feel the need to instruct my child on how to behave.
And why aren’t they talking to their own toddler? Because, let’s face it, toddlers can be quite unresponsive! So when I notice another parent instructing my daughter on what she should do, I usually approach with a friendly smile and ask how old their child is.
“20 months.”
“Oh, mine is the same age!”
Suddenly, their eyes widen, and they often comment on how “big” my daughter is. Sometimes, they even call her “sturdy,” which is my personal favorite. This usually shifts their expectations, allowing my daughter to return to her joyful, albeit chaotic, playtime without the unsolicited advice.
I’ve even thought about getting those age stickers that parents use for monthly photos. Just so everyone knows that my daughter isn’t a terrifying 3-year-old charging into the toddler play area at the library, ready to tackle their kids. Nope, she’s just a rambunctious 1-year-old, full of energy but not quite ready for the complexities of negotiation!
Occasionally, I find myself caught off guard by the unrealistic expectations surrounding toddler behavior. For instance, my daughter might approach a child half her size and snatch away a toy. It’s a common scenario. I usually let them sort it out themselves, because when do 1-year-olds master the art of sharing? Yet, I can feel the judgment from other parents who assume my child should know better based on her size.
Then, when the other child takes the toy back, I watch as the other parent intervenes dramatically: “No, sweetie! Share! You can take turns.”
Share? What does that even mean to a toddler? They’re likely thinking, “Mom keeps saying that word when I have what I want. This toy is awesome! Ooh, a crumb on the floor!”
It’s a futile effort. After a bit of back and forth, when the other mother seems on the verge of losing her cool, I intervene: “You know, her brother was just like this before he turned 2. It’ll be nice when they’re older and can actually share.”
Their eyes widen again, but this time, there’s a hint of understanding.
Kids come in all shapes and sizes, and their ages don’t always align with what we perceive as appropriate behavior. So, it’s probably wise to assume that regardless of how old the child climbing on yours is, their parents are doing their best to parent them.
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Summary
The author humorously recounts the challenges of parenting tall toddlers who are often mistaken for older kids. Through relatable anecdotes, she discusses the assumptions made by other parents and the unrealistic expectations placed on her children due to their size. Ultimately, she emphasizes that parenting is a journey of understanding and patience, regardless of a child’s stature.
Keyphrase: tall toddlers
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