Parenting
Yesterday marked Canadian Thanksgiving, a delightful occasion celebrated in October that many outside of Canada might not know about. My family and I set off to visit my sister and her husband, but the car ride was pure chaos. Imagine two children yelling during a grueling 60-minute drive—it was a nightmare.
The little ones missed their naps, which turned them into little monsters. My son, Leo, was just recovering from a throat infection, while my daughter, Mia, had suddenly developed a strong aversion to car trips.
As we arrived at the party, I thought things would improve. Everyone was eager to escape the confines of the vehicle. My sister-in-law greeted us with a drink, Mia fell asleep in her car seat, and Leo went upstairs with his older brother. I felt like an actual adult for a moment.
However, things quickly shifted when more guests began to arrive. Leo soon grew tired of the upstairs antics and came back downstairs, overwhelmed by the crowd. He began to cry, drop to the floor, and let out shrieks—classic toddler behavior, right?
As the adults chatted about travel and work, I found myself chasing Leo around, trying to keep him entertained while everyone else enjoyed their drinks. It was a familiar but uncomfortable scenario, compounded by Leo’s autism.
Here are a few reasons that led us to leave the party early:
- TV Time Lost Its Magic
One trick to keeping Leo calm is allowing him to watch TV. It worked for about 45 minutes, but soon he was back to his restless self. When the screen no longer captivates him, it’s a sign it’s time to go. I once thought I’d be the parent who limited screen time—how naive I was! - Communication Barriers
Leo is nonverbal, which makes it incredibly challenging to understand his needs, especially in a crowded setting. Unless you’re one of the few who know him well, it’s hard to interpret his flapping arms and increasing agitation. This makes family gatherings particularly stressful for us. - Challenges with Change
Unlike Mia, who can nap anywhere, Leo insists on his crib. A missed opportunity to rest meant we had a very cranky child on our hands. Without a familiar place to sleep, we were left dealing with his distress. - Hyperactivity
Leo’s energy is boundless; he can’t stay still without the aid of a screen. With no high chair available, family dinners quickly became out of the question. It’s a workout just trying to keep up with him! - Need for Baby-Proofing
At nearly 2 years old, Leo still needs a baby-proofed environment, which most homes lack. He doesn’t recognize danger, making constant supervision essential.
So, we decided to leave the Thanksgiving celebration early. Thankfully, my in-laws were understanding and packed us food to take home. As we drove away, I felt a sense of relief, although our kids continued their tantrums in the car. At least we weren’t disrupting anyone else’s evening!
Navigating autism can be challenging, especially when paired with the unpredictability of toddlerhood. For those in similar situations, I recommend hosting gatherings at your own home when possible, or try to replicate your environment as much as you can. This could include items like a Pack ‘n Play or familiar toys. Had we been more prepared, bringing a portable crib for Leo would have made a significant difference.
Lesson learned!
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Summary
Navigating family gatherings can be especially challenging for parents of children with autism. From communication hurdles to the need for familiar environments, these factors can lead to early departures from events. Preparing ahead of time by bringing familiar items or hosting at home can ease the experience.
Keyphrase: early departure from holiday party
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