November 12, 2017
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I have a confession to make. You might be shocked and think, “What kind of young adult behaves like that?” Or perhaps you’ll nod in understanding, reminiscing about your own experiences. Here it is: During my teenage years, I had a serious dislike for my mother. I mean, there wasn’t a single word or action from her that could sway me to support her, heed her advice, or even want to connect with her in any meaningful way.
I know it’s a sad truth, and I regret it more than I can express. At that time, I had no real understanding of what she did for me, nor did I appreciate the challenges she faced during my tumultuous teenage years. I was like most adolescents, too absorbed in my own world to grasp the immense love and effort she poured into raising me. My teenage brain simply couldn’t comprehend it.
Everything changed when I became a mother myself. Like many first-time moms, I was thrown into a whirlwind of sleepless nights, an endlessly crying baby, and the haunting question, “What am I doing?” Just when I needed guidance the most, the person staying with me was none other than my mother—the very woman I had once resented. I went to the hospital feeling like an empowered, capable woman, only to return home feeling lost and overwhelmed.
Suddenly, I found myself part of this unspoken bond with my mother, a veteran in the world of motherhood. It’s a strange transition when you realize that she had been through this chaotic journey long before you. All those years of arguing and dismissing her wisdom vanished like patience during a late-night feeding. The realization that she had been right all along transformed how I viewed her.
As I navigated those early parenting years, I reflected on all the unnoticed sacrifices she made for me—cooking meals, carpooling, attending doctor’s appointments—everything that now fell onto my plate. The middle years of motherhood, filled with the challenges of tweens and teens, brought even greater appreciation for my mom as I recognized the hurdles she overcame, just as I was now enduring the same struggles.
Now, as I guide my children into their young adult lives, I see my mother in a new light. She is not just a woman and a parent; she’s a survivor. She navigated the challenges of motherhood and emerged stronger, proving that motherhood wouldn’t break her—and it won’t break me either, no matter how impossible it sometimes feels. I know I can endure this journey because she did.
It’s interesting how this shift in perspective changes our relationship. Although we still have our differences, it’s clear that she successfully completed a race I’m still running. I cherish that she is my biggest supporter and confidante as I navigate this path. She is a true badass.
Survivors teach us invaluable lessons—faith, resilience, grace, and that tenacity to keep pushing forward, even when we feel like giving up. On days when I feel overwhelmed and question how to guide my children into becoming decent humans without losing myself, I reach out to my own survivor—my mom. “You’re going to finish this race,” she reassures me, reminding me, “If I can do it, so can you. You’re stronger than I ever was.” And just like that, I feel empowered to continue. Thanks, Mom, for being my lifeline in this unpredictable sea of motherhood.
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Summary
In this reflection, Laura shares her journey from a teenage disdain for her mother to a profound appreciation for the strength and resilience she demonstrated as a parent. Through her own experiences in motherhood, she recognizes the invaluable lessons learned from her mother, who proved to be a survivor and a source of inspiration. Laura emphasizes the transformative power of this relationship and the support it offers during the challenges of parenting.
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