No, I’m not upset or irritable or going through a mood swing. Everything is just fine. Yet, it seems like friends, family, and even random passersby can’t help but inquire if I’m all right.
What they don’t realize is that I have what many refer to as Resting Bitch Face (RBF). This condition means that my face often appears critical, unfriendly, or emotionless, even when I’m simply lost in thought.
Wondering if you might also have RBF? Here are a few signs to consider:
- People often tell you that you look better when you smile or suggest you should smile more.
- Your partner is frequently worried that they’ve upset you.
- Some folks have compared your expression to that of Kristen Stewart.
- Strangers tend to steer clear of you, assuming you’re in a bad mood.
The last point is, hands down, my favorite part of having RBF: it encourages people to keep their distance. It’s a shield against awkward chit-chat I’d rather avoid.
I can almost watch in real-time as people react to my serious demeanor. They see me, offer a smile, register my lack of reciprocation, and quickly pivot to avoid interaction. I suppose I don’t project warmth when my expression suggests I’m deep in thought about something sinister. But honestly, my RBF has saved me from a plethora of uncomfortable encounters.
Take, for instance, when I attend a PTA meeting. When Sarah asks for volunteers or homemade treats, she doesn’t even consider me. Though she doesn’t know me well, my corner-posted, stone-faced presence likely gives her a hint that I’m not there to volunteer—especially when I show up later with a box of store-bought cookies. No questions asked!
At the park, fellow moms don’t approach me. People pass me on the street without a word. And during my commutes, I’m blissfully unbothered, as my face seems to convey, “I might be an ordinary person, but I could also be a sociopath carrying pepper spray.” It’s a gamble, and most choose to play it safe.
My RBF works wonders even while I’m grocery shopping. Unlike many, I don’t emit that “please engage with me out of boredom” vibe. My permanent scowl signals that I couldn’t care less about the sale on apples.
Another advantage of RBF is that it keeps expectations low. When people finally get to know me, they’re often surprised by how nice I really am. But I won’t lie—being assumed to be unfriendly can sting. Why is it that if I’m not smiling, I’m deemed a “bitch”? Who decided that women must be cheerful all the time? That’s utter nonsense.
This expectation clearly doesn’t apply to men—unless there’s such a thing as Resting Jerk Face. (Now that I think about it, that might not be the best term.)
The truth is, I don’t owe anyone a smile if I’m not feeling it. Period. I refuse to feel guilty for how my face looks or to force a smile just to put someone else at ease.
Ultimately, I’ve learned to appreciate the unapproachable aura my RBF creates. They say it takes more muscles to smile than to frown, but I bet it doesn’t take any effort when you genuinely don’t care.
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In summary, embracing RBF has its perks—like keeping unwanted interactions at bay. While societal expectations about smiling can be frustrating, I’ve learned to take pride in my unapproachable demeanor.
Keyphrase: Resting Bitch Face
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