After six and a half years and four pregnancies, I’ve experienced growth in ways I never anticipated:
- Physically: I’ve cycled through a total of 140 pounds—roughly 35 each pregnancy, depending on how many nachos or chocolate cravings hit me.
- Vanity: I completely abandoned any last vestige of coolness when we opted for a minivan, which I had previously vowed would never be mine—only “uncool” people drive them.
- Control: I’ve stopped stressing over matching outfits for my kids. Seriously, who has the time for that?
- Resourcefulness: I’ve become remarkably adaptable in situations I once thought would be overwhelming, like dealing with broken bones (three so far), endless baby colds, or forgetting to pack a portable crib for an overnight trip. No big deal, really. Life goes on.
If you’re contemplating the journey of having four kids, here’s what to expect:
- Outings Feel Like a Spectacle
Whenever I take my crew out, it’s as if I’m sporting seven heads. Just the other day at a doctor’s appointment, four different people stopped me to inquire if all those kids were mine! One woman even rolled down her window to ask. Yes, this circus is indeed all mine! I’m inundated with comments like, “Wow, that’s a lot of kids!” or “Did you plan this?” It’s amusing, really. - Your Memory Becomes a Game of Memento
You might recall the movie about a guy who can only remember snippets of time. That’s me, navigating life with four kids. My mind resembles an overloaded internet browser with 462 tabs open at once. Did I pay the electric bill? When did the baby last nurse? Why does child No. 2 have his shirt on backward? You get the picture. With four kids chiming in like annoying pop-up ads, it’s a recipe for forgetting essentials like jackets and school lunches. - Mornings Resemble ‘Jumanji’
After nine months of this routine, I’ve accepted the chaos as my new normal. A few weeks back, my husband, Mike, had to wrangle all the kids for a doctor’s appointment. He’s usually great with diaper changes and feeding, but handling all four solo was a new challenge. When I met him afterward, he simply said, “That was wild.” Yeah, that’s putting it mildly! - Nail Clipping Becomes a Marathon
After clipping my nails and those of my four kids, I realize I’ve just tackled 100 nails. That’s a potential band name right there—“100 Nails!” We’ll get to the music after we master the shoe situation. - Privacy? What’s That?
Taking a quick shower? Forget it. I barely manage three minutes before one child is outside asking if I’m done so they can show me their latest “trick.” My precious little angel, jumping over a blanket, is not exactly a grand performance. - Cooking for Picky Eaters
Making dinner for four little food critics means you’re unlikely to create a universally loved meal. I’m training my kids to appreciate my culinary efforts—if they ask what’s for dinner and I describe a healthy meal, they have two options: “Yay! Thanks, Mom!” or “Okay!” No unsolicited critiques, please. - Bath Times Are Less Frequent
Rumor has it that some moms of four space out baths more than they did with one or two kids. Not that I would know anyone like that, but if I did, I’d say, “Hey, you seem pretty cool. I trust your judgment on bath frequency!” - The Joy Amidst the Chaos
Despite all the unsolicited parenting advice and the daily whirlwind of chaos, every time I welcome another baby into our family, I’m amazed at how my heart expands to love each child uniquely. At the end of the day, when the kids are asleep, and I’m enjoying a glass of wine with Mike while binging a show, I reflect on our beautiful, chaotic life and wouldn’t change a thing—well, maybe I’d reconsider if it came with a free chef.