I’m the kind of person who celebrates birthdays like they’re national holidays, dragging out the festivities for an entire week. It’s a tradition I inherited from my quirky aunt, and it keeps me feeling connected to her. So far, reaching milestone birthdays hasn’t fazed me. I haven’t lost sleep (well, maybe a little), shed tears over my “glory days,” or buried myself in ice cream, wondering if this is as good as it gets. It’s just part of living for me.
However, in the last couple of months, my family has been through a whirlwind: we sold our house, downsized to a camper, lost and changed jobs, moved out of state, unenrolled our child from public school, and started homeschooling. This all began right after my husband hit 34, which has made me acutely aware that I’m creeping up on 36. Yep, I’m the oldest in the family—breaking stereotypes one day at a time!
How did I end up here? I still feel like a carefree teen, excitedly planning Friday night games. But then I see my reflection in store windows, and I realize it’s all too real.
Here’s my humorously bewildered take on why aging isn’t all it’s cracked up to be—it’s more of a chaotic ride than the glamorous life I envisioned in my early 20s.
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My Skin is a Horror Show.
I was lucky to have clear skin as a teenager, but it seems my mid-30s are the payback years. Now I’m dealing with acne that rivals a 90s Clearasil commercial, and what’s this? Moles and shoulder freckles? My Friday nights are now filled with wine and Pinterest searches about skin tags and possible cancer symptoms. I’ve convinced myself I’ve got less than a month to live, all thanks to WebMD. And when it comes to makeup, I wouldn’t even know how to hide this mess, and I have no desire to look like those celebs who have Botoxed their way to frozen faces. -
Dressing Myself is a Challenge.
Honestly, if I could live in yoga pants and hoodies, I would. But I haven’t actually done yoga in ages; I mostly just wear them to grocery shop and lounge. Shopping in places like Maurice’s feels too juvenile, but I’m not quite ready for elastic-waisted slacks and festive sweaters. It feels like I’m caught between the styles of early 90s Britney and Rose from The Golden Girls. -
Defining Success is Harder Than Ever.
As I approach 40, I see friends who are either thriving in their careers or still living with their parents, and sometimes I envy their carefree lives. This is the age when many of us question whether we’re truly happy or just going through the motions. Many turn to direct sales, hoping to find joy in their work while making a living. If only someone would pay me to write or talk! Until then, I’m stuck in a loop of Facebook invites to parties for products I never wanted. -
Whose Kids Are These?
When I was seven, my imaginary children were perfect twins who always behaved. But the kids I have now? Let’s just say they’re little monsters. Every time my daughter throws her sippy cup for the umpteenth time, I wonder how I’m supposed to keep these tiny humans alive while figuring out my own life. Seriously, who decided I could handle this? -
What’s Next?
My husband and I waited a bit longer to start our family, which leaves us questioning whether to keep trying for more kids or embrace being done. Are we ready to plan for retirement? Is that even a real thing? I feel like I should be wiser at this age, yet all I want is to go to bed early and binge-watch Netflix. -
Is That Really My Parent?
In your mid-30s, you start to echo your parents’ words, and it’s terrifying! Suddenly, their advice becomes something you actually look forward to. How did I get here? -
Netflix and Sleep is All I Want.
These years are a blend of every relatable meme. I run on coffee and wine, and while others flaunt their perfect lives on social media, I’m just trying to manage my chaotic household. I don’t need fancy vacations—just some peace and quiet to catch up on shows. -
Target is My Sanctuary.
Honestly, I’d love to spend hours at Target, sipping Starbucks and zoning out from the chaos. It went from a necessity to an escape, and somehow I’ve spent way too much without even remembering what I came for.
So, as I glance at my reflection, I realize I might not look the way I did in senior pictures, but I am strong, resilient, and have overcome so much. If this is the path to 40, I’m ready to embrace it.
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Summary:
Aging can be bewildering, especially as one approaches 40. The transition involves grappling with changes in appearance, parenting challenges, career aspirations, and the occasional existential crisis about life decisions. It’s a journey filled with humorous realizations and the recognition that life is about navigating through chaos with strength and resilience.
Keyphrase: aging gracefully
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