3 Tips for Connecting with New Mom Friends

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Let’s be real here: when I mention “new” mom friends, I’m not talking about a younger gal with a baby strapped to her chest. I’m referring to women who’ve got a few lines on their faces and maybe a streak of gray hair they’re still managing to cover up every few weeks. They’ve been through the wringer, have stories that are as colorful as their language, and they care very little about societal niceties at this stage of life. These are the women I can vibe with.

When I became a mom, I found that forming friendships was no easy feat. I was exhausted, fueled by caffeine and the pressure of new responsibilities. The idea of having “friends” during that time felt like a far-off dream. I was just surviving, and the thought of actively pursuing friendships seemed daunting. My social interactions were limited to brief nods during school pickups, and I was okay with that. I had my best friend, Lisa, and that felt sufficient.

But then life took a turn, and I unexpectedly found myself surrounded by a fresh group of mom friends. They don’t know my quirks well enough to avoid me on social media—yet! As a self-proclaimed introverted extrovert with anxiety, forming bonds in this new landscape has been a wild ride. If you find yourself navigating the same waters, here are three tips to help you thrive in the mom friend dating scene.

1. Maintain Some Mystery

This applies both in face-to-face interactions and in the wild world of group chats. Similar to dating, the less your new mom friends know about your quirks, fears, or the fact that you sometimes argue with your kid’s toy dinosaurs, the better. For example, my new friends think I’m a bit of a badass because I did martial arts a decade ago. Instead of disclosing my actual fear of needles and the chaos that comes with being a mom, I just nod along and keep that illusion alive. Why ruin a good thing?

2. Avoid Being Overly Needy

I’ll admit it: I have a tendency to seek affirmation more than I should. But in a group of women, everyone deserves their moment to shine. I’ve learned that instead of fishing for compliments, it’s crucial to give them out generously. This shift in mindset has not only helped me feel more secure but has also eased the pressure on my long-time friend, Lisa, who no longer has to constantly remind me of my awesomeness.

3. Prepare Your Kids (And Yourself)

Your children will inevitably be part of the equation, so brace yourself for those mortifying moments when your child decides to become the “potty monster” in a new friend’s home. Explain to your kids that not all toilets are created equal, and sometimes, things can get messy. Be ready for potential chaos, like when your kid decides that moon sand is the best toy to share—though it inevitably ends up everywhere, including your new friend’s house. Just be honest and clean up as discreetly as possible. A little forethought goes a long way in ensuring that your kids don’t scare your new friends off before they get to know the real you.

In the end, just be yourself—albeit a slightly toned-down version in those initial weeks. Finding a group of women who share your quirks and parenting struggles can lead to some truly rewarding friendships.

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Summary

Navigating friendships with new mom friends can be tricky, but keeping a bit of mystery, avoiding neediness, and preparing your kids for social interactions can go a long way. By embracing your quirks and finding common ground, you can foster meaningful relationships in this new chapter of life.

Keyphrase: New mom friends tips

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