A Mom’s Unfiltered Manifesto

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My kids are dressed neatly, enjoy nutritious meals, bask in the sun, and get plenty of exercise. They also hear the word “dingleberry” more often than I’d like to admit.

I love to let loose with a few curse words, and yes, I’m a mom. There, I said it.

When they were tiny, my little ones probably dozed off to the calming sounds of me muttering “Craptastic!” as I navigated through a minefield of toys in their room. One day, the occasional F-bomb will surely feel like a nostalgic lullaby for them.

Cursing is amusing, liberating, and a fantastic way to relieve stress. It doesn’t make me a bad parent. Not one bit. It doesn’t make me crass or unruly or a poor role model. It brings me joy, and let’s be honest, it’s pretty hilarious. Research even suggests that swearing can boost creativity and expand one’s vocabulary. Now that’s the kind of info I love to hear!

Just because some of my go-to words sound like they belong in a sailor’s lexicon doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have a place in my daily life. I’m sorry, but “Golly gee” or “Fiddlesticks” just don’t cut it when I stub my toe or drop a whole box of cereal. I need something with some punch—maybe “Clusterfuck” or “Shitstorm” will do the trick. Words like “douche canoe” come out so naturally for me, it’s like breathing or whining about grocery prices.

And yes, my kids listen to these colorful phrases and—gasp—occasionally repeat them. But you know what? I’m okay with that. I’ve made plenty of adjustments for my little rascals, like becoming a morning person and watching endless animated movies. Changing my vocabulary, though? Not happening.

I know some of you might be concerned about how my kids are growing up. Don’t sweat it; we’ve taught them the difference between right and wrong, even amidst my colorful language. They’ve learned not to say “crap” in front of Grandma and to keep it clean at school, church, or while chatting with the cashier at the grocery store. And we definitely don’t swear at each other, even when tempers flare.

We’ve shown them the appropriate times for swearing, like when it adds a little spice to a sentence or brings a giggle. For example, belting out “Uptown Funk” with some choice words swapped in is pure entertainment. And nothing cracks me up more than my 3-year-old peering into the toilet post-poop and shouting “Holy moly!” That’s a memory I’ll cherish forever.

If my approach to cursing makes you want to toss your keyboard out the window, take a breath. The only kids I swear around are mine and a select few others whose moms share my love for colorful language. We’re a close-knit crew of potty mouths, and guess what? Our kids are still amazing.

So come on board—there’s nothing wrong with letting a few choice words fly every now and then. Trust me, I’m a total pro at this.

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Summary:

Embracing a candid approach to parenting doesn’t mean compromising values. This manifesto celebrates the fun and stress relief that comes with swearing while ensuring that children learn context and appropriateness. It’s all about balance, laughter, and enjoying life’s little chaotic moments.

Keyphrase: A Mom’s Unfiltered Manifesto

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