Parenting
Some families dream of having just one child, while others may find themselves unable to have a second due to physical limitations or the decision not to adopt. Then there are those who initially planned for a larger family but later feel that their family is complete after welcoming their first child.
I don’t quite fit any of those scenarios. For as long as I can remember, I had envisioned having two or three kids. However, I’d also anticipated having a partner by my side through the journey. Although conceiving wasn’t straightforward for me, I successfully utilized a donor and IVF. Now, though it’s still a possibility, bringing another child into my life isn’t financially sensible or responsible at this moment.
Thus, I find myself in the role of a “one and done” mom. I adore my little guy more than I ever imagined possible, yet I feel there’s more love within me to give. Perhaps not while I’m navigating the challenges of toddler tantrums and teething, but definitely in the future. And honestly, that realization is tough to swallow. It brings a wave of sadness.
I thought I had come to terms with the absence of a partner to share family life with long before my son arrived. However, the restrictions of being a single mother hit me harder than I expected. I never anticipated how extraordinary the experience of pregnancy would be, or the profound joy of watching my child grow and evolve day by day. I yearn to share all the wonders of life with someone as curious and wide-eyed as he is. I can’t help but feel a twinge of envy when I see my friends’ kids experiencing sibling bonds that I wish for my son.
Perhaps my feelings stem from the fact that I am starting to come to terms with leaving behind certain baby milestones. While I relish the moments of watching him achieve new milestones, I feel a pang of sadness at saying farewell to those precious infant days.
My son has a lifetime filled with firsts ahead: his first words, first bike ride, first day at school. I know that if I were to have another child, I’d be navigating those stages all over again, and I can’t help but wonder if I would be more present, more appreciative of every fleeting moment the second time around.
Realistically, my chances of welcoming another child are akin to winning the lottery, which feels disheartening. Nevertheless, coming to this realization while my son is still young allows me to savor each moment with him, and to find solace during those not-so-great days. He is my one and only, which means there’s no one to hold back for, no “next time” to think about.
It’s just this moment. It’s just the two of us. And we will make the most of it. Yet, every now and then, I might still buy a lottery ticket—just in case.
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Summary:
This article dives into the emotional journey of being a single mother who had always envisioned a larger family but finds herself embracing the reality of having just one child. It explores the feelings of love, longing, and the bittersweet nature of parenting milestones, highlighting the unique challenges and joys of motherhood.
Keyphrase: One and Done Parenting
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