Recently, I received a note from a reader who came across an essay I wrote about my partner. It was a lovely message, but one particular line made me squirm: “I wish I had your self-assurance.”
She shared how she identified with my experiences as a plus-sized woman but felt her self-image didn’t match mine. She saw me as confident and joyful while viewing herself as insecure and lost. “You’re truly living,” she wrote. “I just exist.”
I replied with encouragement, but deep down, I wanted to tell her, “Oh, if only you knew.” I completely understand her feelings because, to be honest, I experience them too.
I wish I could radiate that level of confidence all the time. I wish I could be that bold, outgoing woman without a care in the world.
Don’t get me wrong; I do consider myself confident. I genuinely believe I am beautiful, intelligent, fun, and deserving of love, happiness, and all the good things life has to offer. Most days, I feel great about myself and reject the notion that my size defines my worth.
I love my life in this body! I can pull off a bold lipstick like a pro, I have a loving family, I laugh heartily, and I give generously. I’m proud of the person I’ve worked hard to become.
Yet, I cannot deny that sometimes being fat is just plain tough. Society bombards us with negative messages about larger bodies, and it’s impossible to tune them all out every day. On occasions, I find myself listening to those critics, losing sight of all the things that make me fantastic.
Right now, I’m not at a weight where I feel entirely comfortable, which can affect my mood and self-image. I even shy away from certain activities out of fear of how I might look while doing them. Being fat can be a complicated, emotional journey for me.
But this body is the only one I’ll ever have, and I refuse to harbor hate for it. On my rough days, I remind myself of everything that is healthy and wonderful about my body.
Sometimes I wonder if I should feel guilty about celebrating a body that deviates from the societal ideal. Is embracing fat bodies the same as endorsing obesity?
Just kidding. I never actually question that. Those who think that way are simply mistaken, and I wholeheartedly reject that notion.
I celebrate every inch and ounce of my body without guilt because it has navigated me through the darkest times with resilience. It has been my home during every moment of joy and triumph.
My body has brought my children into this world, but I’m consciously trying not to cement my entire identity in motherhood. Just as I’m more than a plus-sized woman, I’m more than just a mom. The ability to reproduce doesn’t solely define my worth, and my fat cells don’t diminish it either.
So, please excuse me while I unapologetically embrace the joy of my life.
Just the other day, when I was feeling down and my partner was away, I couldn’t escape the kids. I threw on some lipstick, blasted Motown’s greatest hits, and danced with my boys in the kitchen. As we laughed and enjoyed the moment together, I stopped criticizing my body. I felt grateful for the gift of experiencing these beautiful days.
There will always be moments when I feel unattractive or inadequate, but those feelings are misguided. My body is not my enemy; I owe everything to it. I will not apologize for loving myself, and neither should you.
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In summary, while I embrace my body and celebrate my life, I also acknowledge the complexities that come with being fat. I strive to balance self-love with the realities of societal perceptions, and I invite others to join me in this journey of acceptance.
Keyphrase: Embracing body positivity and self-love
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