Last year, a friend of mine, Jen Thompson, wrote a piece titled “Why My Daughter Might Hit Your Son.” At the time, my daughter was just starting kindergarten, and I thought I had plenty of time before facing issues like harassment. I read the article and shared it, but it didn’t resonate with me as it did with some other parents. I believed I had more time to prepare.
Well, it turns out that time has come much sooner than I expected.
“Mom, I was bullied today,” she said, as we made our way home from school.
“Bullied?” I replied, skeptical. I’ve always found the term a bit overused, and I couldn’t fathom that my strong-willed little girl could be bullied. After some probing, she mentioned that a couple of boys had chased her on the playground. I advised her to steer clear of them, thinking that would solve the issue.
At dinner, she brought it up again during our daily ritual of sharing highs and lows. “Some boys bullied me today,” she reiterated. With her mentioning it a second time, I decided to dig deeper.
“What exactly happened?” I asked. She explained that some boys had been hitting her on the backside and, when she asked them to stop, they called her names and laughed.
Let that sink in for a moment. Two boys touched my daughter inappropriately, and when she responded, they mocked her.
Where did they learn this behavior? I have a hunch.
Anger bubbled within me, but I contained it and asked her what she did next. She told me she reported it to the teacher, who intervened, but the boys continued their behavior. The more I listened, the more furious I became.
She even demonstrated on my own backside what they were doing, which can only be described as groping. And at just six years old, she didn’t even grasp the severity of it.
We talked about how unacceptable this behavior was and praised her for telling the teacher. But then she said, “Tomorrow, I’m just going to hide during recess.”
I pulled her close and lifted her chin to meet my gaze. “Absolutely not. You will not let two boys ruin your playtime. They are breaking the rules. If they touch you again, say, ‘Keep your hands to yourself!’ If they don’t stop, tell your teacher. And if they persist, you have my permission to defend yourself—kick them in the shins or step on their feet. If you get in trouble, just let your teacher know to call me.”
I explained that she might end up in the principal’s office, but we would handle it together. I wanted her to feel empowered to protect herself.
We need to understand that our children learn from us. It’s not instinctive for boys to insult girls when they say no; it’s learned behavior. As parents, it’s our responsibility to teach our kids—both sons and daughters—that they have no right to touch anyone without consent. If my son were to act like those boys did, there would be serious consequences at home. He knows better and has been raised to respect all individuals, including your daughters.
Parents, it’s vital to teach your children that they are not entitled to invade anyone’s personal space. My daughter’s body is not for their hands. If they cross that line, they will face the consequences, which might include her defending herself quite effectively.
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In summary, we must empower our children to stand up against harassment and teach them the importance of respect for themselves and others.
Keyphrase: Empowering children against harassment
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