Question from Mike in Ohio:
How should I handle a friend’s 4-year-old who thinks it’s hilarious to hit me in the groin while everyone else laughs? Whenever the kid is around, I find myself protecting my manhood. I really don’t want to resort to leg sweeping a kid, but enough is enough!
Hey Mike,
That’s quite the predicament you’re in!
First, consider if this child might have special needs that could manifest as aggressive behavior. Sometimes, it’s a reaction to too much stimulation or other triggers. It’s best to approach the situation thoughtfully, especially if you value your friendship.
Or, maybe the kid just doesn’t like you. Sorry about that!
If you’re confident that it’s not a special needs situation and you feel the parents are being too passive, then it’s time to address your friends for allowing their child to treat you, or anyone, like a personal punching bag. At 4 years old, he’s testing boundaries and seeing what he can get away with.
I can’t fathom why a parent would sit idly by — even laughing — while their child goes full street fighter on someone and not intervene. Maybe they think it’s just playful roughhousing or that it’s cute to see their child being a little wild. I bet that’s the case.
But if you’re constantly in a defensive stance, shielding your sensitive areas from what feels like an impending scrotum kick, THE PARENTS SHOULD NOTICE! Most adults can pick up on body language that screams discomfort.
It’s clear this friendship matters to you, as you’re willing to work through this.
So, Mike from Ohio, here’s what you can do:
Next time you’re around little Timmy and his oblivious parents, stay calm — keep your hands at your sides. If the kid starts in again, you can gently place your hand on his forehead and maintain enough distance so he can’t land a blow. Look directly at his parents and say, “Is it really okay with you that your son is physically assaulting me? I’d genuinely like to know what’s funny about this.”
I predict they’ll respond in one of two ways: they might dismiss it with “Oh, come on, boys will be boys” or say, “He’s just having fun with you, buddy.”
If that’s the case, respond with, “Kids should be held accountable for their actions. Would you allow him to treat another child or a pet this way? I’m done being a punching bag while you laugh like you’re at a comedy show. Maybe we can reconnect once you’ve sorted this out.”
Or, you could say, “I know this might seem strange to you, but I’d prefer tossing a football or playing a board game rather than having to dodge groin shots every time I visit. It’s your job as parents to teach him the importance of personal space and boundaries. When you ignore his harmful behavior, you’re ultimately responsible for it. I’d rather not leg sweep your kid, so until you’re ready to be considerate, I’m out!”
And it’s true! As caregivers, whether we’re parents, grandparents, or aunts and uncles, we have a duty to model respect, kindness, and empathy.
If you encounter passive parents who refuse to correct their child’s harmful actions towards others, it’s your right to speak up. Tell them it’s not acceptable. It might cost you your friendship, but maybe you’ll make them aware of a behavior they’ve overlooked.
The child can’t learn self-control without understanding boundaries, and worse, he’s being rewarded with laughter for hitting people.
Believe me, I come across individuals daily who I’d love to give a swift kick to. But I hold back because I learned that violence isn’t the answer — not to mention, there are legal consequences!
That’s What Jamie Collins Would Do.
If you’re interested in related topics, check out this other blog post on at-home insemination kits, which can be a great resource for families considering their options.
Summary:
When dealing with a friend’s child who inappropriately hits you, it’s essential to consider the child’s behavior and the parents’ response. Address the issue calmly, setting clear boundaries and expectations. If the parents remain passive, it may be necessary to distance yourself from the situation until they recognize their child’s need for guidance.
Keyphrase: handling aggressive children
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