For the first time since welcoming our kids into the world, my husband and I took a vacation—just the two of us. Our oldest is now 10, and it’s been a decade since we’ve had a break longer than a five-hour dinner date. Ten years of life as Mommy and Daddy had made it easy to forget who we were as a couple, and the guilt of leaving our children behind kept me from even considering a getaway.
With a 4-year-old still at home, I always felt tethered to the responsibilities of parenting. Guilt weighed heavily on my heart every time I thought about spending money on a trip instead of on my kids. After all, parenting comes with its own set of financial demands: lessons, sports, toys, and the essentials of food and shelter. Justifying expenses for a hotel, dining, show tickets, and shopping seemed impossible, and my answer was always a resounding “No.”
At 38, I had convinced myself that my personal aspirations and joys could wait until my children were older. Reflecting on this now, it seems absurd. No wonder my husband and I felt drained and occasionally resentful. We had lost ourselves in the whirlwind of parenthood, forgetting that we needed to take care of our own needs too.
A wake-up call came when I lost a friend unexpectedly. It made me realize that I couldn’t afford to let life pass me by while being buried under responsibilities. I needed a radical change, not selfishness, but self-preservation. So, I planned a trip to Cape Cod, complete with a beach hotel, theater tickets, and meals at restaurants that don’t serve crayons with the menu. Those three days turned out to be some of the best of my life, surpassing even my wedding day and the births of my children.
While my husband and I have always loved each other deeply, it’s hard to connect as a couple when you’re constantly pulled in different directions by little ones. This vacation allowed us to reconnect without distractions. We felt like ourselves again, free to explore and enjoy each other’s company, without the usual parent duties weighing us down.
For three glorious days, I didn’t have to worry about snacks, Band-Aids, or the risk of my kids wreaking havoc in a fancy store. I realized that life doesn’t have to be one continuous grind of obligations. I am worthy of joy, fun, and pursuing my goals.
What kind of role model am I if I let my entire life revolve around my children? I want them to see me as a fulfilled individual, not just Mom. It’s essential to set an example of balance and self-care, or I risk teaching them that their own aspirations should be sidelined for the sake of parenthood.
Since returning, we’ve committed to making more time for ourselves. We’ve booked an overnight trip to see a band we adore. I updated my wardrobe and even bought my husband some new clothes. We’ve reignited our passion for music, practicing together for a local busking competition next year.
Our kids now lounge nearby, coloring or playing, while they listen to us sing and play. They observe the joy that comes from prioritizing our passions and goals, hopefully learning to seek fulfillment in their own lives too.
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In conclusion, taking time for myself and my marriage has revitalized our family life. We are happier and more connected, showing our children that it’s okay to nurture your own dreams alongside their needs.
Keyphrase: Making My Marriage A Priority
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