I can vividly recall the moment I first fell in love with each of my children. Yet, surprisingly, I also remember the first time I found myself not liking them very much. My unwavering, protective love for my kids has remained constant since the day they were born. In the early days of motherhood, I mistakenly believed that this fierce love would see us through every challenge. I thought that the immense affection I felt for my little ones meant there was no way my feelings could change.
However, I’ve learned that love and like are not interchangeable. Love is a steadfast emotion, while like can be a bit more elusive. Just because I love my children doesn’t mean I always enjoy their company.
To clarify, I genuinely like my kids as individuals; they are amazing little humans. But there have definitely been times when I struggled to enjoy being around them. There were phases so trying and annoying that I would catch myself thinking, Wow, I really don’t like this kid right now. It’s a confusing feeling—loving them deeply yet not wanting to be near them.
One particularly challenging phase involved relentless whining. It wasn’t just the typical requests; it was a constant stream of complaints about every little thing that didn’t go their way. So. Much. Whining. I can love a child who whines, but after a while, my ability to “like” them takes a nosedive.
Then there was the noise phase. Oh, joy! It seemed the goal was to drive me insane by filling every quiet moment with an array of ridiculous sound effects—beeps, screeches, and random singing at the top of their lungs. I love you, my dear children, but I need a break from the auditory chaos to like you again.
There have been phases filled with drama, defiance, and sibling squabbles—moments where finding enjoyment in my kids felt like a chore. Initially, I felt a wave of guilt when I realized I didn’t like one of them in that moment. How could I not like my own child? What kind of mother am I? I reached out to my friend, Lisa, and cautiously asked, “Have you ever not liked your kid for a bit? Like, you love them, but it’s hard to be around them?”
Like any good friend, she assured me, “Absolutely, I’ve been there!” We shared our experiences of motherhood, including the unexpected truth that sometimes, our kids test our patience to the brink, and it’s okay to admit we’re struggling to like them. If you don’t have a mom friend like Lisa, I highly recommend finding one.
If you’re in the early stages of parenting, this concept might seem far-fetched. My first experience with it came around age seven, but I had an easygoing first child. Some kids might test your “like” even earlier, while others might glide through life as little angels. If you haven’t encountered a phase where you don’t particularly like your child, just remember that it’s likely coming, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent.
For those currently navigating one of these challenging phases, don’t worry. The beauty of childhood is that these tough times are temporary. The pendulum will swing back, and I often find myself liking my kids again before I know it. In fact, they usually emerge from a rough patch even more wonderful than before, making me forget that I ever struggled with liking them. Funny how that works, right?
It might seem harsh to admit that I don’t always like my children, but it’s the truth. My love for them is unwavering, but love and like are distinct feelings, and they don’t always align. You will always love your kids, but there will be times when liking them feels challenging—and that’s perfectly fine.
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Summary
Parenting is filled with love, but it can also bring moments where liking your children becomes difficult. Phases of whining, noise, and defiance can test even the strongest bonds. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are normal and temporary. Sharing experiences with others can provide support, and understanding that love and like are two different emotions can help navigate the ups and downs of parenting.
Keyphrase: parenting challenges and love
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