Recently, celebrity and entrepreneur, Mia Reynolds, shared her feelings about being a “single mom” while her husband is away for training. This sparked eye rolls from actual single mothers everywhere.
As a genuine single mom (no partner returning from a work trip here), I wasn’t offended by Mia’s comments, but rather by the fact that partnered moms often make such comparisons. Listen up, moms with partners: You’re not single parents, and it would be great if you stopped romanticizing our reality. When your partner is away for a weekend or a business trip, that doesn’t equate to our struggles. You don’t truly grasp what it means to be the sole caretaker of your child around the clock.
I’ve been navigating single motherhood since my son was just three months old, and now he’s four. I’ll admit that when he was a newborn and his dad worked long hours, I used to think I understood what it felt like to be a single parent. Oh, how naive I was! Now that I’m truly doing it alone, I wish I could tell my past self to just hush.
Being a solo parent means carrying the weight of everything: paying the bills, ensuring your child is cared for, maintaining your own well-being, keeping the house in order, and budgeting—all of it rests on your shoulders. Moms who share that they feel like single parents don’t realize the long-term implications of these responsibilities.
Yes, you might feel overwhelmed for a short time, but your partner will eventually come home to help with the load, providing both emotional and financial support. You know that your solo parenting experience is temporary, whereas single mothers often face these challenges indefinitely.
During the interview, Mia also mentioned that she had a nanny and her mother-in-law assisting her. The truth is, most single mothers don’t have access to such support systems. While it’s nice that Mia can lean on her family, the reality for many of us is entirely different. We’re the ones who have to budget for new shoes and coats while making sure we have food on the table.
Moms with co-parents don’t experience the sleepless nights spent worrying whether their child feels like they’re missing out because there isn’t a dad around. You don’t know the pain of silently crying in the middle of the night, feeling exhausted from carrying all the responsibility alone. You’ll never have your child comfort you through their own tears, promising that you’ll work together to overcome tough times—a burden no child should have to bear.
You don’t know the lonely nights spent wondering if anyone will ever love you and your child the way you both deserve. You have the comfort of knowing that your partner will return, that there’s someone to share the love and responsibilities with. Meanwhile, single moms often get pitying looks from well-meaning friends, but we also have to deal with the reality that our situation is permanent.
So before you declare yourself a “single mom” for a brief spell, remember the question that echoes in the minds of true single parents: “Who else is going to do it for me?” The answer is no one. And that’s the key difference. You might have solo parenting moments, but you’re not living the true single mom experience.
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Summary
The essence of being a single mom is vastly different from merely feeling like one. While partnered moms may experience temporary solo parenting, true single mothers manage every aspect of their child’s life without the support that often comes with a partner. The emotional and logistical burdens of single motherhood create a reality that’s not just a fleeting experience but a consistent challenge.
Keyphrase: single mom vs. partnered mom
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