Is It Necessary to Push Our Kids to Be the Best? I Don’t Think So

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Recently, an intriguing piece titled “In Defense of Average Kids” has been making waves online. In it, a mother named Sarah Thompson shares the story of her son, Jake, who expressed an interest in the trumpet. They purchased the instrument and enrolled him in the school band, only to discover that he wasn’t exactly a prodigy. After a suggestion from the school’s music director, they considered hiring a private tutor. Like many well-meaning parents, Sarah felt the pressure to ensure that Jake excelled, even if it meant spending a lot of money. The initial excitement about him learning music quickly morphed into a financial dilemma—was the goal to set him up to play in a prestigious orchestra? No, it was simply to let him explore an interest.

I can relate. A few years back, my daughter, who was just 5, wanted to try her hand at gymnastics. I bought her the leotard, enrolled her in classes, and drove her to every session, visualizing her as an Olympic athlete. Oddly, I don’t even have a strong affinity for gymnastics! Yet, the moment she showed interest, I wanted her to shine.

However, my dreams of her becoming an elite gymnast were dashed quickly. After just a few months, convincing her to wear her leotard was a struggle. I found myself pushing her into an activity she didn’t enjoy, all in the hopes that she would bring home accolades—an endeavor I didn’t even care about myself.

Like Sarah, I took a moment to reflect on why I had enrolled her in gymnastics. The original intention was for her to discover whether she enjoyed it, not to groom her for greatness. The odds of becoming a gymnastics star are slim, after all.

As parents, we often get swept up in a competitive mindset, expecting our children to excel in every possible area. In reality, raising well-rounded individuals with passions and good values should be our primary objective.

It’s worth noting that this obsession with achievement is often rooted in a middle- to upper-class mindset. Many families, like mine, may have the means to allow their kids to participate in sports or activities but don’t want to make it their sole focus. I grew up in a household where extra activities were a luxury we couldn’t afford, and I certainly didn’t have a parent driving me all over town for lessons.

While our family can afford to let our son play soccer and our daughter to explore gymnastics, we make sure it’s not an all-consuming venture. They’re learning new skills and having fun, and that is what matters.

In my job within a Division 1 athletics program, I’ve met student-athletes who are incredibly driven. While their dedication is commendable, I’ve also seen the darker side of relentless ambition. When a child faces failure, it can be devastating. I’ve witnessed two bright student-athletes take their own lives—one after losing eligibility, the other after being cut from a team. They were talented and had so much potential, yet they felt their worth was tied to their athletic achievements.

While this tragic outcome won’t be the fate of every child driven to excel, we must acknowledge the toll that this relentless pursuit of success can take on their mental health.

Embracing mediocrity should not be a negative. There’s nothing wrong with a child who earns B’s or even C’s. Encouraging them to do their best is important, but demanding they outperform everyone in every aspect of life can create immense pressure. From my observations, that stress can lead to tragic consequences.

Ultimately, Sarah concludes her article by emphasizing the importance of self-esteem and resilience in children. It’s vital to create an environment where failure is acceptable and trying again is encouraged. We should focus on nurturing kindness, honesty, and loyalty instead of fixating on accolades. Mediocrity can be perfectly acceptable.

It’s crucial to teach our children that failure is a natural part of life and that our love for them isn’t contingent on being the best. As long as they grow into kind and capable individuals, we can be proud of them. So let’s ease the burden we place on our kids and, like Sarah, embrace the beauty of being average.

In summary, pushing our children to be the best can have unforeseen consequences. It’s essential to create a supportive environment where they can explore their interests without the pressure to excel. By focusing on their growth as individuals rather than their achievements, we can foster better mental health and happiness.

Keyphrase: The Importance of Embracing Mediocrity in Parenting

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