I’ve always had an undeniable affinity for junk food. Whether it’s sugary treats or savory snacks, I’m all in. Just hand me the munchies, and I’m a happy camper.
I thought my taste buds would mature as I aged, but if they have, I certainly haven’t noticed. Now that my little one is growing (he’s almost 4!), he’s joining me in my snacking adventures, turning our home into a veritable junk food paradise.
Before you panic about my child’s nutrition, let me clarify: two of his go-to snacks are apple slices and Persian cucumbers. Sure, he might follow that healthy choice with a bowl of Mini M&Ms, but I generally don’t say no—unless he just woke up (he often asks for ice cream sandwiches first thing) or it’s almost dinner time. We both enjoy wholesome home-cooked meals, but we also indulge in a healthy stash of snacks. And when I say “healthy,” I mean definitely not Whole30 approved.
Open my main kitchen cabinet, and you might get knocked out by a bag of crunchy Cheetos. Or maybe you’ll find sour cream and cheddar Ruffles—those chips are heavenly. On that same shelf, you’ll discover regular Ruffles (because let’s be honest, you need something sturdy for French onion dip), pretzel sticks (those are my kid’s), and a bag of Smartfood white cheddar popcorn—my guilty pleasure since college, which I’ve also introduced to my child.
There’s even a bag of Trader Joe’s tortilla chips in there. My kid spotted them in the store and insisted we buy them, despite never having tried them. To me, they’re just a more civilized means of transporting TJ’s peach salsa to my mouth instead of sipping it straight from one of the three jars I bought this week. (Yes, three jars.)
Growing up, my house was always stocked with chips, cookies, ice cream, and cake. Kids in the neighborhood flocked to my place because my mom would lay out an impressive spread. Soon, my child will be doing the same, and I hope his friends think he’s cool partly because their moms don’t allow them to have the sugary snacks I keep stocked (unless, of course, they have food allergies).
In high school, my baking skills became a hit. Even kids I didn’t know would ask me to whip up treats for their bake sales. I can confidently navigate a chocolate chip cookie recipe (raw dough is divine, salmonella be damned) and can create Pinterest-worthy cakes in a snap. Junk food has always been a source of comfort for me, whether indulging in it or baking it.
During college, I’d devour bags of Ruffles and Slim Jims during exam week. I’d inhale Lucky Charms at lightning speed while typing up my term papers. Living off-campus, I baked consistently, bringing cupcakes to class just because. I’d show up to play rehearsals with a new baked good every week. At this point, I didn’t even need to read the instructions on a box of Duncan Hines brownie mix—I had that memorized. And you know what? People loved it.
Sure, my penchant for junk food could be a sign of something deeper, but honestly, I just really love junk food. Many people feel embarrassed to admit their adoration for it, especially in a world enamored with keto diets and health fads. While nutrition is crucial, I believe that enjoying junk food in moderation isn’t a crime. Yes, I often exceed the suggested serving size for Cheetos. Who doesn’t? But I balance it out with nutritious dinners and regular exercise.
If I munch on four brownie bites while standing at the sink, I’ll take my child for a stroll around the neighborhood afterward. Did I polish off an entire box of Milk Duds in one sitting? You bet I did! I’ll just make sure to step up my cardio routine that day and load up on leafy greens.
When you spot me at the checkout with a cart filled with ice cream, the fruit bars and sandwiches are for my kid—but the Neapolitan ice cream, Bunny Tracks, and two types of individual pies? Those are all for me.
Feel free to give me a disapproving look—I couldn’t care less. I won’t be thinking about your judgment as I indulge in that deliciousness.
I reign as the queen of the junk food kingdom, and no one can take away my candy crown.
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Summary:
This article celebrates the unapologetic love for junk food while addressing the balance of healthy eating. The author shares personal experiences of indulging in snacks and baking, emphasizing that enjoying junk food doesn’t have to be a source of shame. With humor and a light-hearted approach, the importance of moderation and self-acceptance in dietary choices is highlighted.
Keyphrase: Junk Food Queen
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