Nobody wants to be the parent of the child who hits, right? It’s tough when your little one becomes the kid that others avoid or when you’re met with disapproving glances from fellow moms. Trust me, I get it. I’ve tried my hardest to instill in my son the message that hitting is not acceptable—that hands are for helping, not hurting. Yet, being a toddler means emotions can sometimes overflow, leading to those unfortunate moments at the park or playgroup when he lashes out.
In those instances, I feel like shrinking into the ground, but escaping isn’t an option. After many attempts to disappear, I’ve learned that addressing these situations head-on is essential.
While traditional time-outs can sometimes be effective, the isolation can exacerbate a child’s anger. Instead, I’ve found that it’s more beneficial to remove my child from the situation and guide him through what happened—discussing why hitting is wrong, how it affects others, and brainstorming ways to make amends.
Yelling usually just makes me look unhinged and rarely resolves anything, so I’ve taken to using a calm yet firm tone instead. “You need to sit here, and if I have to intervene again about hitting, we’re heading home.” He’ll often sulk for a bit, hoping to win sympathy from bystanders, while I battle feelings of embarrassment and frustration.
The tough part comes next—apologizing. Sometimes, my son expresses his regret with remnants of tears still on his cheeks; other times, he hesitates to say sorry. In those moments, I model the behavior I want to see in him. After a gentle reminder to keep our hands to ourselves and use our words, he’s off again, while I sit back, hoping for a smooth playdate.
It’s important to remember that hitting often isn’t malicious; sometimes it comes from excitement or an inability to recognize personal boundaries. These instances can be more challenging to navigate than intentional hitting because they require teaching social cues and respect for others’ space. Learning about consent and body autonomy starts at a young age, and it’s crucial not to overlook these moments.
No parent wants their child labeled as the “bad kid.” It’s a tough pill to swallow when you know your child has a good heart but can become a little tempestuous. You want to shout, “Don’t judge me! I promise I’m a good parent!” And yes, it might even be tempting to wear a shirt that says, “Don’t blame me for my kid’s behavior.”
Children who hit aren’t necessarily misbehaving; they’re simply navigating a complex world, learning how to express their emotions and deal with conflict. It’s a common phase, and while it can be mortifying for parents, it’s our job to keep nurturing and guiding them toward being the kind, loving individuals we know they can be.
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In summary, hitting is a phase many toddlers experience. It’s crucial to respond with understanding and guidance rather than embarrassment or shame. By addressing the behavior thoughtfully, we can help our children learn and grow into respectful individuals.
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