When I exchanged vows, I had no clue what I was truly signing up for. I donned my grandmother’s wedding gown and wore a cherished necklace from my great-grandmother-in-law. My bouquet consisted of elegant calla lilies. I fumbled during the ceremony, awkwardly kneeling before a statue of the Virgin Mary while a hymn played. I boasted a stunning six-carat sapphire engagement ring, and our wedding bands were custom-made and engraved in Ireland. Yet, oddly, I can’t recall the moment I actually said “I do.” There were the typical promises about love in sickness and in health, through wealth and poverty, for as long as we both shall live. I was certain the worst that could happen was my best friend accidentally spilling Sprite on the flower girl in the limo.
Fast forward to this year, when my husband developed tonsillitis on Mother’s Day. He rushed to an urgent care clinic, leaving me to wrangle our three little ones at Sunday mass by myself. In tears, I called him from the parking lot, upset because someone mistakenly assumed I was pregnant. “The day’s ruined,” I lamented. “I guess you won’t get to eat those donuts,” he replied, sounding defeated.
He had been so thoughtful, stopping to get me a box of Mother’s Day donuts despite feeling miserable from two antibiotic shots. “You’re beautiful,” he reassured me. “You don’t look pregnant; that woman was just rude.” He showered me with love and compliments, reminding me of my worth.
That’s what “I do” truly signifies. It’s about saving one another, lifting each other up, and engaging in a series of small, meaningful gestures that keep the bond alive. It can also manifest through significant acts of support. When we exchanged vows, I had some existing mental health challenges, but we didn’t foresee the severe anxiety and treatment-resistant depression that would later emerge, possibly even bipolar disorder, compounded by untreated ADHD.
My husband found himself with a wife quite different from the one he envisioned: a woman who would sob for hours and grapple with thoughts of self-harm. He ended up taking family leave from his teaching job to care for our kids while I went through outpatient mental health treatment. Remarkably, he never wavered. He consistently tried to support me, never once expressing that he wished I would just change or that he’d be better off without me. Even when I suggested divorce, believing he deserved better, he continued to profess his love.
Every couple faces significant challenges, whether it’s repeated miscarriages, financial struggles, or loss within the family. Something monumental occurs, and one partner must step up to be there for the other. That’s the essence of “I do.”
Moreover, “I do” encompasses the unexpected surprises life throws our way. Like the moment I stood in the hallway, revealing to my husband—when we weren’t trying for another child and already had a 1- and a 3-year-old—that I was pregnant. His shocked response was, “Oh no!” We both cried, but we faced it together. Fast forward a few years, and that baby is now a lively 3-year-old, endlessly demanding to watch something else. This is yet another layer of what “I do” entails.
“I do” signifies countless moments, sacrifices, fears, tears, and embraces. It means tolerating each other’s quirks—his obsession with football and my Pinterest disasters. It means sharing the bed after he’s had only a bowl of baked beans for dinner, which is just plain rude. It’s about accepting that the kids can sing the dirty parts of Hamilton because I’ve played it too many times, while he spends Saturday mornings out fishing. “I do” means loving each other through the baby weight, the acne, and the gray hairs.
When I said “I do,” I thought I understood what lay ahead. A decade later, with three kids and three dogs, I realize I barely scratched the surface. I can’t predict what those vows will demand of me tomorrow or how I’ll be called to love him in the future. What I do know is that I made a promise to him, a promise to myself. I said “I do” out of love, and I reaffirm that commitment each day because I choose to keep loving him. It may not sound overly sentimental, but it’s the most heartfelt sentiment imaginable.
Bear, I choose to love you. I choose you today. I choose you tomorrow. And I will continue choosing you every single day, through thick and thin, in sickness and health, for as long as we both shall live.
For those exploring their own journeys into parenthood, check out this insightful article on couples’ fertility paths. Additionally, Cryobaby offers expert resources on home insemination kits. For more information on pregnancy and insemination options, you can rely on WebMD’s excellent resource.
In summary, marriage vows are a complex tapestry of love, support, and the unexpected, continuously evolving as partners navigate life together.
Keyphrase: Meaning of Marriage Vows
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