Here I am, rocking a dress that society might say isn’t meant for someone like me. This isn’t my first time donning this outfit, and it certainly won’t be my last. I’m aware it may not be the most flattering choice, but that’s not what I’m after when I wear it. I’m not fishing for compliments like, “Wow, you look amazing!” or “Good for you!” Instead, I want you to understand why I choose to wear this so-called “forbidden” dress.
This snapshot was taken during a girls’ night out with my best friend, after a glass and a half of prosecco, as we were heading to a lovely dinner. Sure, someone might glance at me and think I look a tad pregnant due to that little pooch in the front. And yes, I do look a bit pregnant, but that’s perfectly fine. I once carried two babies there, but now? Well, it’s more about my love for cheeseburgers and a good sauvignon blanc.
I bought this dress for a getaway with my partner. When I first tried it on, I immediately knew it wasn’t designed for my 5-foot-2, 160-pound frame, yet it made me feel fantastic. And I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. I’m not one to typically wear fitted clothing, but I desired it, so I went ahead and bought it, feeling proud of that choice.
Let’s face it: I’m at my heaviest right now, aside from during my pregnancies. Throughout my life, I’ve battled with my weight, and if you’ve ever been in that boat, you know it’s not merely about the physical aspect. It’s deeply tied to how you perceive yourself and the self-talk you engage in. After 40 years of telling myself I shouldn’t wear what I want, I’m ready to change the narrative. I’m focusing on being kinder to myself.
As a work-from-home mom, I set my own schedule. I could easily spend hours at the gym or run marathons if I wanted to. But truthfully, my priorities are elsewhere. Right now, I’m all about keeping my life in order, raising compassionate kids, nurturing meaningful friendships, and fostering a joyful marriage.
For decades, I’ve stood in front of the mirror, comparing myself to an unrealistic standard of how I think I should look. It’s utterly draining. In a world filled with negativity, I’m now hitting the “Decline” button on those calls of self-doubt. I refuse to engage with that anymore. My focus has shifted to self-love, simple as that.
Now, I’m not saying I’m abandoning exercise altogether. I’ll still incorporate it here and there because I value having a healthy body. I’m just taking a break from the relentless self-criticism. I’m turning down the volume on those negative thoughts, realizing I care far more about my own opinions than anyone else’s.
Here’s the bottom line: If I can slip into a dress that society deems inappropriate for me to wear on a date with my husband or a fancy dinner with my best friend, then you can absolutely do the same. If I’m brave enough to share this photo online for countless others to see, then you can undoubtedly wear that dress you think you shouldn’t at the next barbecue.
If the toughest part is convincing yourself, remind yourself: life is too short to stress over what you think you shouldn’t wear.
— Lila Thompson