Much to my mother’s dismay, I’m a mom who swears. I enjoy slipping a few colorful words into conversations whenever I can, and at the end of a long day, nothing feels quite as relieving as venting with a string of expletives. I consider myself a good person, but I’m also pretty sweary, and that’s just how it is.
Given my habit of using strong language (combined with my short temper and the chaos that often comes with parenting), my kids hear their fair share of colorful vocabulary. A whole lot, actually. And kids being the little sponges they are, they absorb it all — and then regurgitate it.
Yes, my children swear. They’re well-acquainted with all the naughty words and use them properly, often with impressive pronunciation. They’ve been known to yell a few “dammit”s and “this is effing ridiculous” when they’re frustrated. Plus, they giggle while flipping each other off with their middle fingers raised high.
Sure, it can get a bit irritating, just like kids can be annoying in general, but honestly, I don’t mind much. Swearing isn’t off-limits in our house, and I barely bat an eye if they mutter a curse or shout something out after stepping on a Lego. I mean, is there anyone who doesn’t?
Now, I can imagine some folks gasping in horror and typing furiously about how I’m the worst parent ever and how my kids are little brats, but hear me out.
First and foremost, I make it clear to my kids that there’s a crucial rule when it comes to swearing: Know your audience and show respect. They understand that there’s a time and place for bad language. Our home is their safe space, where they can be the wild, rambunctious kids they are, but if they start tossing around four-letter words at school, they’re in for a serious talking-to.
I’ve told them time and again that if I get a call from the school about their swearing, they will face the kind of consequences they won’t forget. Just like I wouldn’t drop F-bombs in church (okay, maybe I would), they need to grasp that different environments have different standards. For example, they can’t swear in school, in front of their 2-year-old cousin, or around their grandma.
I also emphasize that words carry weight, depending on the intention behind them. There’s nothing inherently nasty about words like “crap” or “asshat.” In fact, they can be quite fun to say. But if you hurl an insult or use hurtful language, that’s when you land in hot water.
In our house, there are plenty of words that I find far more offensive than so-called “swear words.” Terms like “stupid” and “shut up” are strictly off-limits. We prefer “oh my gosh” instead of “oh my god” because we never want to upset anyone’s religious beliefs. And any kind of slurs? Absolutely not.
We steer clear of sexist jokes, even the seemingly harmless ones, and I’ll give a serious glare and a lengthy lecture if they ever laugh at someone who’s different in any way. We don’t negatively comment on others’ appearances, body shapes, or fashion choices. Gossiping is a no-go (or at least we try), and saying mean things behind someone’s back is completely unacceptable. The rule is simple: Don’t be a jerk.
Some might think I’m a soft parent because I let my kids drop F-bombs and don’t freak out over words like “crap” or “jerk.” But I’m incredibly strict about kindness and have zero tolerance for meanness. So while I don’t mind if they say the word “jerk,” I absolutely refuse to let them act like jerks. Period.
In essence, I expect them to be kind at all times, and that expectation has nothing to do with whether someone swears like a sailor or speaks like a saint. Heck, even saints probably let a few bad words slip now and then.
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In summary, while I allow swearing in our home, I place a strong emphasis on kindness and respect. My kids know there’s a time and a place for everything, including their choice of language.
Keyphrase: parenting with swearing
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