Once upon a time, my partner and I were lively college students, completely captivated by each other. We thrived on our emotional and dramatic personalities, which brought a fiery passion to our relationship. Sure, we had our share of dramatic arguments, but those intense feelings also resulted in some unforgettable intimacy.
With our flexible college schedules, we had to spare time for spontaneous afternoon delights and late-night escapades — and we were often in the mood. Our physical connection was a vital part of our lives, requiring little effort to maintain.
Fast-forward a couple of decades, and life has certainly changed. Our freewheeling college days have been swapped for demanding careers, children, volunteer work, and a heap of adult responsibilities. Our once spontaneous nature has given way to meticulous to-do lists and packed Google calendars that keep track of everything.
Yet, surprisingly, our sex life is just as vibrant — dare I say, even better — than it was during our youthful escapades. The secret? Scheduled intimacy.
Yes, I know it might sound unromantic or mundane to set aside time for sex, but it’s far from dull. In fact, it’s made our encounters even more passionate and fulfilling. Here’s how:
Avoiding the Roommate Syndrome
Long-term relationships can sometimes lose their spark, especially when kids and mortgages come into play. With our busy lives, it’s easy to feel like we’re merely housemates. My partner might work late one night while I have commitments on another, leaving us feeling disconnected. Scheduling our “Sunday Night Sexy Time” ensures that we don’t drift apart. Knowing we have a date on the calendar keeps the flames alive amidst the chaos of daily life.
Keeping the Peace
Living with someone for an extended period often leads to minor annoyances. Disagreements over parenting styles, finances, and in-laws can escalate tempers. But you know what helps? Sex. Whenever my partner and I find ourselves snapping at each other, it often coincides with a lack of intimacy. Engaging in a steamy session can melt away tension and transform our mood, making it hard to stay mad at someone who just gave you an incredible experience.
Science Says So
Experts agree that the notion of sex always being spontaneous is a myth. As Shirley Baron, a psychologist and sex therapist, points out, “It’s more like having a date. Think about it as a good thing.” Scheduling intimacy can actually enhance your relationship.
Room for Adventure
As adults, we have the freedom to explore and experiment in the bedroom. Knowing that intimacy is on the horizon allows us to try new things without the fear of losing a spontaneous opportunity. It can be a bonding experience to step outside of our comfort zones together.
Something to Anticipate
Whether it’s the excitement of “Sunday Night Sexy Time” or a cheeky text during the day, having scheduled intimacy gives us something to look forward to. Just thinking about those moments can brighten an otherwise mundane day, making it easier to get through that afternoon meeting.
Ultimately, the frequency of scheduled intimacy is up to you — whether it’s once a week, monthly, or even daily. Experts suggest weekly is optimal for most, but it all depends on what works for you and your partner. The key is to prioritize your relationship.
So, if you’ll excuse me, it’s Sunday night, and I have plans…
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In summary, scheduling intimacy can be a game-changer for couples looking to keep the spark alive amidst the chaos of everyday life. It not only prevents the relationship from becoming monotonous but also provides a platform for communication, experimentation, and connection.
Keyphrase: scheduling intimacy
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